Trying too hard to be a Perfect Women
You could be setting yourself up for frustration and failure.
Six ways to achieve more by doing less. In today's world, with
pressure to do and be everything, who does not want to be Super
Women, being a perfect women?
Most, if not all, women feel the need to be perfect, but being a
perfectionist is debilitating because we feel, each and
everyday, like we don't measure up. Letting go of your quest for
perfection allows you to achieve more and enjoy life in the
process. Here are six steps to embracing your
less-than-perfect-self:
1. Do it half-rate. Choose an activity and instead of aiming for
your typical 100 percent, shoot for 70 or even 50 percent. Every
Christmas, Johannah Haney, 24, from Columbus, Ohio, is obsessive
about gift wrapping. "I spend weeks and way too much money
making my present look window-display perfect," she says.
"People do not even appreciate it that much, so I wind up
feeling disappointed." This year, Haney is taking the low-key
route. "I bought some inexpensive paper, and I am going to put
on Christmas music and limit the wrapping to one afternoon. I
want to make it a fun rather than stressful experience."
2. Make a list - then minimize it. List everything you feel has
to get done today. Then grab a red pen and circle only the items
of highest priority. Consider it a successful day when you have
completed those tasks.
3. Redefine workout. Chloe Bergman, 28, an artist living in New
York City, always strove for intense workout. "Unless I was
sweating bullets on the tread-mill everyday, it was enough," she
says. But then a friend took her to yoga class. "It actually
helped my running," Bergman says. "Now I am convinced it is good
to vary my workout, in terms of intensive as well as type."
4. Say no more often. Perfectionist women feel like they should
be able to do everything. But they can't. No one can. So the
next time you're asked to serve on demanding committee or have
coffee with someone you don't really like spending time with,
politely (but firmly) decline.
5. Reward yourself for every accomplishment. Channing Dungey,
33, a film producer in Los Angeles, has a hard time
acknowledging that she's finished a work project. "I'll keep
checking and rechecking it to make sure it's exactly perfect,"
she says. To counterbalance these tendencies - and help herself
leave the desk - Dungey has created a reward system. "For a
small project, I'll get some frozen yogurt. For a bigger
project, I'll buy a new pair of shoes. It helps me break out of
my pattern of feeling like the work is never done."
6. Share rather than compare. The annoying thing about saying
adios to your perfectionist self is that everyone around you
still looks perfect. Next time, instead of comparing yourself to
your friends, open up to them - confess how uninformed you think
you looked in that meeting, how you embarrassed yourself on a
date. You'll be surprised to learn that most people experience
the same things. We're not so perfect after all.