Change Your Story; Change Your Life
What was the last story you told someone about your life? Was it
about how much fun you had on your weekend getaway? How much
you're enjoying the change in weather? How great work is? Or was
it about ongoing health problems? Your dysfunctional family? The
uncooperative insurance company?
What Our Stories Reveal
The stories we tell reveal not just what's going on in our life,
but also our perception of life. And it's our perception,
governed by our core beliefs, that dictates how our future
unfolds. Who says crystal balls don't exist? Just listen to
yourself talk, and you'll know all there is to know about your
future.
We tell our stories chatting with other moms at the soccer game,
passing the time with a fellow passenger on a long flight, and
conversing with our stylist at the salon. These moments reveal
our perspectives about life. Is the glass half empty or half
full? Is the world an inherently safe place or dangerous place?
It isn't so much what has or hasn't happened that's important,
but our perception of what's happened that's key. Our perception
reveals our core beliefs which determine how life unfolds.
Knowing this, it seems wise to change our stories in order to
create more supportive beliefs. That's not saying we should
create fiction when we talk about our lives, but just pay
attention to the beliefs we hold about what's happened and
what's possible for us.
Old Maid or Fancy-Free?
I was surprised to overhear a friend summing up my history with
men by saying I had a string a failed relationships and no hope
of finding "the one." Not only that, but I was fast approaching
the age that men would start to overlook me. Ugh! That's a bleak
interpretation!
All this time I thought I was happily divorced and lucky enough
to have fun with a wide variety of men, relishing in the fact
that I wasn't searching for "one" - but rather having fun with
"lots!" As far as age goes, I thought I was fortunate to date
men whose children were grown!
Both of us spoke the truth from our personal perspective, but my
version serves me much better. I could be an old maid divorcee
with no prospects of marriage on the horizon, or I could be
footloose and fancy free enjoying every opportunity that comes
my way. (Guess which one I'm going with?)
So What's Your Story?
What story are you telling? Is your mother-in-law interfering in
your marriage? Are your genes preventing you from good health?
Do you not have enough time in the day to take care of yourself?
Does your employer discriminate against people like you?
And what story would you rather tell? Believe it or not, it all
starts with your story - what you believe about yourself. Tell
the story first - or at least stop telling the one that doesn't
serve you - and new possibilities will open up. Then it will be
a pleasure to swap stories at our next visit at the salon!