The Power Of 'Coaching Distinctions' For Enhancing Your Life
Having been a professional coach for over 16 years, and having
been in over a dozen coaching relationships as a client during
that time, I've had the opportunity to examine what makes
coaching so powerful and effective. It's my personal view that
one of the most beneficial tools that can enhance a client's
life is coaching distinctions. You can think of a coaching
distinction like a lens through which you look at life, and in
the process life shows up differently. For example, when my
mechanic, Dale, looks under the hood of my car he sees a whole
different world than I do. I see mostly dirt and oil and maybe
the oil dip stick and radiator cap. But because Dale has many
more 'engine distinctions' he's the one I'm going to call on if
my car won't start in the morning. In short, the more
distinctions we have AND USE, the more powerful and effective we
can be in our lives.
WORKING IN vs. WORKING ON YOUR LIFE Now, let's look at a
specific coaching distinction that you can begin immediately to
use in your own life. It's actually modified from a business
distinction I first heard about from Michael Gerber, author of
THE E MYTH. In THE E MYTH (www.e-myth.com) Michael points out
that one of the major blind spots that keep many entrepreneurs
stuck in growing their business is that they spend almost all
their time 'working in their business' and almost no time
'working on their business.' I've found this to be true for many
of my clients in regards to their own lives. They're living in
their lives, often frenetically so, but rarely do they devote
any real quality time in 'working on their lives,' and it shows
-- Big Time. Does that sound familiar to you? Try on this
distinction right now to see what you see about your life. And
in case you need a bit more clarity on the distinction, let's
see if we can further distinguish between 'living in your life'
vs. 'working on your life.' Living in your life - You are
awakened by your blaring alarm in the morning after a restless
night of sleep because you were worrying about _______ (fill in
the blank). You rush to get yourself ready for work, pumping
yourself up with coffee, and catching just a bit of the morning
news that verifies once again to you that life is going to hell
in a hand-basket. You fly out the door, drive to work, where you
quickly look at your to-do list, rushing around to meet
deadlines, etc. You finally finish your day, not at 4 or 5 pm
but more like 6 or 7. You drag yourself home, prepare dinner,
turn on the TV so you can veg out for a couple hours, before
dragging yourself to bed, to start the whole process over. OK,
granted this may be a somewhat exaggerated example, but
truthfully I find for many people it's a pretty accurate
reflection of their daily lives. So, what's missing in this
scenario? Any time for "Working On Your Life" -- What I found is
often the missing element that will make a huge difference in
the quality of your life is carving out time for working on your
life, or as I like to call it, purposefully playing on my life.
This can include: * Working with a life coach which provides you
with an excellent support structure and focus * Daily time for
meditation, prayer, or reflection * Regular journal writing time
* A weekly meeting with yourself where you're specifically
evaluating how to live more on purpose, then taking actions
consistent with that self coaching session * Quarterly or twice
a year retreat time like an extended weekend or longer. Now, I'm
not saying you need to do all of these, at least not at first. I
do highly recommend you pick at least one of them and 'carve
out' the time for it. And I use that phrase, carve out,
intentionally. If you wait to find the time, you won't. You'll
need to commit to giving yourself this gift, and while it may be
one of the most valuable gifts you give yourself, don't be
surprised if a part of you resists accepting it. (That's your
Inherited Purpose trying to maintain control of your life.
"Ignore that little old man behind the screen.") Accept the gift
from yourself.