Dealing with Stress: Learning to Ride the Waves of Change
You get your budget all worked out and then gas prices soar and
your commuting expenses send you back to the drawing board. A
new baby arrives, someone falls ill or dies, and everything
changes. You have to change plans, change roles, learn new
skills, and devise new routines -- but how? There wasn't enough
time to keep up with things as they were!
And what about hormones? Ouch! Puberty, pms, menopause -- no
matter where we are in the life cycle, we have to adapt to the
changing landscapes of our own and our family's bodies. And when
it comes to body chemistry, the changes are daily and even
hourly. We never know how we'll wake up - it all depends on how
we slept, what we ate the night before, what we see coming in
the day ahead. And when it comes to love, we never know when
we'll be in the mood for it!
No wonder life and living sometimes feel overwhelming! Not only
are we dealing with all the changes that come with the territory
of being human, but the pace of change is getting faster. Even a
positive change, like a new computer or appliance, that helps us
in the long run, makes demands on us. We have to take "extra
time" for awhile to get things done as we learn the ropes on our
new gadgets.
Although change is the basic nature of life, it makes demands on
us -- it is, in essence, a "stressor". We tend to think of
stress as a bad thing - but it is actually simply part of life
and living. Every event in our lives can be viewed as a force
that is affecting us, whether the impact is on the physical,
mental, emotional, or spiritual levels (or all of the above).
Something happens and we respond. Whether or not we actually
feel stressed has to do with how well we are able to respond.
Change draws on our basic inner resources of energy, creativity
and intelligence, and it makes demands on our time. We need a
clear mind, rested body and calm spirit to meet these increasing
demands that come with change. And we need one more vital
ingredient - flexibility!
Please understand that when I write about the qualities we need
to "surf the waves of change", I don't mean to imply any of us
can become perfect at it. In fact, the ability to accept
ourselves as imperfect (like every other human being who ever
lived), is absolutely essential to developing the clarity,
calmness, and especially the flexibility, that we all need in
the midst of change. None of us is a superman or superwoman who
always breezes through everything in life without distress. To
some degree or another, we all get stressed out by change and
here the warning signs:
You feel as if life is moving too fast. You find it hard to
switch gears when things don't happen as planned. You feel you
are on overload - the pressure feels too intense. You feel
panicked about whether you can handle it all. You can't think
straight - there's just too much information to process or
emotion to experience. You'd give anything to take a break, but
don't feel you can.
There are plenty of other symptoms you may experience when
overwhelmed by change. While they may be different for different
people, everyone needs certain qualities to live with change.
Here are six qualities you need to "surf the waves of change"
(or what we need to be "response-able") and ways to develop each
one:
1. Energy: Stay rested to keep your batteries charged. This way
change doesn't find you running on empty. We all need an energy
reserve, just as much as we need an emergency fund in the bank.
2. Creativity: Find ways to get the creative juices flowing on a
daily basis - draw, paint, sing, dance, set your spirit free!
Creativity requires freedom of expression, and that requires
practice.
3. Mental clarity: Learn a way to get centered. Find a way that
works for you - there are lots of resources to help you with
this. For some, it may be a walk in nature, meditation, prayer.
Practice something at least a few minutes daily so that you live
a more centered life and can call upon your special technique
when needed.
4. Inner Calm: Learn to relax. If you do this one thing, the
rest will follow! There are lots of ways to learn this all
important skill - find one that works for you and start it right
away.
5. Stability: Devote time to building strong foundations in your
life on all levels - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual -
so that the waves of change don't throw you completely off
kilter. Developing the other five qualities mentioned here
increase your inner stability, but this also needs to be
reflected in stable and supportive relationships, health,
finances, and even daily routines.
6. Flexibility: Stretch whenever you can, both your body and
your mind. Try new activities and develop new skills. Expose
yourself to different cultures and ways of thinking - you can
incorporate what's useful to you and discard what doesn't suit
you. You'll find you become more flexible and versatile. Read
different kinds of books, watch different kinds of movies, and
whatever you do stretch your body regularly.