HOW TO BREAK BAD HABITS
Change is not an easy task. If it were, we'd all be out of
debt, in perfect relationships and on top of the world. And that
clearly isn't the case. We make poor decisions out of habit, and
then when it doesn't work out the first time, we try the same
thing hoping for different results. Does this seem a little odd
to you?
Why can't we see that trying to exit an old story by simply
writing a better ending in our minds, just doesn't work? It only
recreates the same story again and again and ensures we remain
in it? Sometimes, the solution to breaking bad habit begins with
denying that we know the right answer. It's a tough battle and
many people avoid it for as long as they can. But the sooner you
replace your bad habits with good ones, the better off you'll
be. Focus on the System
The system is my term for the never-ending cycle of repeating
bad decisions. When something is simply not working out for you,
and you decide to keep doing it over and over, you're sticking
with a system that is just not working.
Devote special attention to the things that seem frustrating,
out of your control, and impossible to address. For you, this
could be economics, politics, personal growth, etc. The first
step in helping yourself is pinpointing what the problem is.
Focus on Theory
Remain theoretical about how to transform various systems and
about what needs to be done. Avoid detail, singular aspects, and
application. For example, if spending money is a problem for
you, don't focus on specific instances when you were unhappy
with how you spent money. Instead, focus on the broader scope.
Are there certain factors that are always at play when you
mis-spend your money? Perhaps it's only when you're depressed.
Or maybe it's only when you're in a rush.
Chances are, you'll find a consistency here and you'll be able
to break this bad habit by fixing the main problem.
Believe in Expert Opinions
When discussing your problems with a therapist or someone with
authoritative knowledge on the subject, believe in their
expertise. It is so easy to disregard what they say because it
doesn't fit into what you have always done. You may be tempted
to go out and seek another opinion in hopes the second one will
better suit your desires.
So dismiss any notion that their expertise is wrong or not right
for you. If you believed in this expert enough to have gone to
them for advice, chances are they are correct in whatever they
say.
Debate the Obvious
When the solution to a question seems so obvious, give it a
second look. When you have done something so many times that it
has become routine, you tend to make a decision based on that
experience. Again, you tend to neglect the fact that result has
always been negative.
The moments when you can debate your natural solution are the
ones that count most. Think of a solution that would otherwise
seem ridiculous to you and debate that in your head. It may be
just the one for you.
Going with the 'obvious' solution could mean you're just
carrying on with the same bad habits.
Do not Decide in Advance
The next time you're placed in a situation where you have to
make one of these decisions, allow the urgency of a situation to
decide for you. Rather than planning in advance and knowing
exactly what your decision will be, don't think about it at all.
The gravity of a last-minute emergency forces immediate action
and let's your instincts take over.
One caution with this point is not to let your habit decide for
you. Let your human instinct and common sense tell you whether
you are about to make a smart move or a very poor one.
Focus on Failure
Failure is something that we don't focus on enough in our
culture. And when we do talk about failure, it's only to console
the person who has failed. But failure is a very powerful tool
if we know how to use it.
When you are in the middle of the cycle of a bad habit, you know
what the result is going to be, because it's happened so many
times before. You're going to make the habitual decision - which
is the wrong decision - and fail. So give failure the respect it
deserves. Fear it. This will put a lot more weight into the
decision.
Failing once at something is a learning experience. Failing
twice at the same task for the same reason, makes you a fool.
___________________________________ Change is no easy task
As you can see, change is no easy task. It takes determination,
skill and a solid strategy for getting there. But there is a
bright side - the only thing harder than change is trying to
stick with those bad habits.