Thank You Obnoxious Lady
..for helping to teach me patience. It's funny, you know,
because we all encounter a lot of characters during the course
of any day.... any day that we venture out into the so-called
public that is. Well, I wear a number of different hats: there's
no doubt about it. And, it occurs to me that some of my hats
seem to conflict. I'm like a guy switching between a beret,
cowboy hat, top hat, baseball cap, and .... well, you get the
idea. And, I hope you do, because I'm not sure that I do : ).
But, the idea is that we've all got different little roles and
jobs and so forth, you know, and one of my hats is the salesman
hat. Well, my approach to this is pretty much consistent with
all my hats (there goes the whole "hat" thing...oh well....no
rewrites blogger boy!) . I'm basically polite, and I listen.
Now, I'm not trying to tell you that I'm Mother Theresa and the
greatest guy who ever lived. I'm not. But, basically, I place a
high value on basic politeness/civility, and I feel that this is
sadly often lacking from my society. I could go on and on about
this. Let's say that I've often been told: "Kemal, you are so
polite!" This still strikes me as strange, because people intend
it as a type of compliment, and, to me, that's just the way
you're supposed to be. It's like if someone thanked you for
chewing your food. That's just what you do when you take a bite
of something edible: you chew it...and, likewise, when you
interact with people, you act civil.
So, to get to the point...today at work, there's a lady, let's
just say she's large and in charge. Well, she's got a grievance,
and she's wrong, and this is often the case with customers.
That's just the way it is. You know the saying, "The customer's
always right"? Well, that saying is, basically, stupid. Okay,
so, this lady is aggravated, and, she's turning redder and
redder, and, what it amounts to is someone else, from a
different company, was passing the buck, and he directed her to
me. He shouldn't have done that. I was nicely explaining this to
her. And, as she's turning redder and redder, picture a large
tomato head yelling: "So, what you're saying is you're not going
to help me? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME YOU'RE TELLING ME!"
Picture me: "Ma'am, the thing is that I'd like to help you, but
I can't." And, trust me, this was true...I won't get into the
specifics of the situation, because it would take too long, but
there was nothing I could do for her. Basically, some joker,
typical fashion, passed the buck. Anyway, I felt myself starting
to get a little ticked. I tended bar for a few years, and,
believe me, it takes a good bit to get to me. I've had drunken
folks make remarks like, "You're not going to serve me in an
American bar!" The idea being that Kemal Faruquee, though he
speaks English and was born in Pennsylvania, couldn't refuse to
serve a drunk, "American" fellow. So, from tending bar and
dealing with a bunch of aggravating alcoholics, I learned how to
let a lot of things slide..
Yet, this tomato-faced lady getting loud with me touched a
nerve. You know, I'm only human! And, this gal touched a nerve.
That's when I remembered one of the Dalai Lama's messages. Well,
I ought to, I've heard my mother express this idea quite a few
times. The premise: Don't get upset with obnoxious ladies (and
other annoying folks for that matter.) Be happy and thankful
that they crossed your path. Stay cool. What they're doing is
teaching you patience. And, that's part of why I love the Dalai
Lama so much. Who else could come up with something like that?
And, thus, I regained my composure and finished explaining
things to this lady. She wasn't appeased, but she did eventually
give up. As I watched her big head disappear into the distance,
I thought to myself, "Thank you obnoxious lady for helping to
teach me patience."
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