My Latest Guru -- My Macintosh iBook
A couple days ago I went to watch one of my favorite TV shoes,
West Wing, on DVD. (I have the first 4 seasons on DVD). Watching
the show on my iBook laptop is a favorite way to unwind at the
end of the day.
On this particular day the DVD program hung up so I had to shut
down the computer, but when I went to start it up again nothing
happened. Now, this has happened once before about a year ago
and it was a major disruption in my life since I'd lost a lot of
data when the repair company cleaned off the hard drive despite
my stringent requests that they not do that. (My request was
lost in the shuffle.)
So, all the past about the times I've had computer crashes began
to wash over me, as I sat on my bed trying to breath. Luckily I
caught what was happening fairly quickly, perhaps because the
contrast between my quiet serenity a few moments previously and
what I was now starting to experience was so sharp.
I consciously stopped myself by quieting my mind's fearful
chatter and instead taking a moment to determine what was really
happening. My iBook wasn't turning on. Beyond that, pretty much
everything else I was hearing in my mind was all conjecture
based on the past.
My minister, Chad O'Shea, often talks about the many different
'gurus' we have in our lives if we pay attention. Here, for sure
was my latest guru, my iBook, pointing to how quickly I was
ready to give up my peace-of-mind by allowing my mind to wreck
havoc.
As for the status on my iBook? Still uncertain. I've unplugged
it and removed the battery for a day or so, based on both an
intuitive hit I had this morning which was followed by an email
from my computer expert suggesting the same. We'll see if it can
indeed heal itself.
In the meantime, I continue to 'watch my mind like a
rattlesnake' least the past jump up to strike down my peace of
mind again.