My Latest Guru -- My Macintosh iBook

A couple days ago I went to watch one of my favorite TV shoes, West Wing, on DVD. (I have the first 4 seasons on DVD). Watching the show on my iBook laptop is a favorite way to unwind at the end of the day. On this particular day the DVD program hung up so I had to shut down the computer, but when I went to start it up again nothing happened. Now, this has happened once before about a year ago and it was a major disruption in my life since I'd lost a lot of data when the repair company cleaned off the hard drive despite my stringent requests that they not do that. (My request was lost in the shuffle.) So, all the past about the times I've had computer crashes began to wash over me, as I sat on my bed trying to breath. Luckily I caught what was happening fairly quickly, perhaps because the contrast between my quiet serenity a few moments previously and what I was now starting to experience was so sharp. I consciously stopped myself by quieting my mind's fearful chatter and instead taking a moment to determine what was really happening. My iBook wasn't turning on. Beyond that, pretty much everything else I was hearing in my mind was all conjecture based on the past. My minister, Chad O'Shea, often talks about the many different 'gurus' we have in our lives if we pay attention. Here, for sure was my latest guru, my iBook, pointing to how quickly I was ready to give up my peace-of-mind by allowing my mind to wreck havoc. As for the status on my iBook? Still uncertain. I've unplugged it and removed the battery for a day or so, based on both an intuitive hit I had this morning which was followed by an email from my computer expert suggesting the same. We'll see if it can indeed heal itself. In the meantime, I continue to 'watch my mind like a rattlesnake' least the past jump up to strike down my peace of mind again.