Optimism - Explore The Possibility
Copyright 2005 Mark Myhre
We constantly project into the future.
We can't help it; that's part of what makes us human. Our
frontal lobes - the area of the brain right behind the forehead
- constantly thinks about the future. Creating, reviewing,
rehearsing, and discarding various scenarios about what will
happen. (And what won't happen...)
"What's gonna happen?"
"What's gonna happen?"
"What's gonna happen?"
Projecting into the future rates as normal, healthy, human
behavior. If -
If we're projecting positive, healthy thoughts and feelings.
All too often, however, those projections are NOT based on
positive, optimistic thoughts. Rather, they consist of quite
negative ones.
According to the world's foremost expert on optimism, Dr. Martin
Seligman, everyone is born optimistic. And yet, 95% of grownups
are pessimists, not optimists. What goes wrong?
What turns youthful optimism into grown-up pessimism - and so
often cynicism as well? The answer consists of two words - pain
and shame.
As a youth, every human experiences pain and shame. It's an
unavoidable part of the heritage of today's society.
Maybe the pain and shame were severe, maybe not.
A tender young seedling can be crushed (or deformed) much more
easily than a full-grown tree. It doesn't take a lot of abuse -
or neglect - to produce a lifetime of damage.
The nature of shame involves passing it on from one generation
to the next.
The worthlessness, the 'dirtiness', the rage that I feel becomes
like a hot potato and I find myself compelled to pass it on -
and always to someone weaker than me.
Just like the worthlessness, the 'dirtiness', and the rage were
given to me by my parents so I must pass it on to my kids.
And thus begins the warping, the twisting, the distorting, of my
youthful optimism into the grown-up pessimism.
Shame involves a lot more, but you get the idea. It's not
biological. It's not genetic. It's part of the heritage.
One of the end results of shame is that I become pessimistic and
often times cynical as well. However, instead of calling it
'pessimism'. I call it 'intelligence'.
"It won't work. That's a stupid idea."
"It'll never fly."
"You can't do that."
"Nobody's gonna get the best of me! I'm too smart!"
I call it 'street smarts' as I really become too LAZY to do the
work of evaluating. Thinking and feeling is hard work. Cynicism
and judgments, however, seem to come with almost no effort at
all.
Instead of exerting the effort to carefully evaluate a
situation, I become blinded by my own pessimism. I become
cynical of everything but my own cynicism.
(And I must never, ever, ever question my own assumptions!)
95% of the population finds itself in this boat without even
realizing it. Of course, very few people label themselves as
pessimistic. In fact, we like to think of ourselves as
open-minded optimists.
Why the misconception? Maybe we just don't understand the value
and significance of optimism. Maybe we don't see how important
it really is.
The Value Of Optimism
One study stands out as perhaps the best scientific exploration
of optimism -
C. Peterson, M. Seligman, and G. Vaillant, "Pessimistic
Explanatory Style as a Risk Factor for Physical Illness: A
Thirty-five Year Longitudinal Study", J Person Soc Psych 55
(1988): 23-7.
Three main discoveries came out of this classic paper thirty
five years in the making:
1. Optimists live longer than pessimists.
2. Optimists suffer from fewer and less severe diseases.
3. Optimists are much healthier than pessimists.
Besides these obvious health benefits, optimism also implies a
higher quality of life.
Quality of life - manifested as greater success, greater
happiness and greater love. A life of accomplishment. A life
lived full and rich. A life worth living. A life you can be
proud of. A life you can sink your teeth into. These are some of
the benefits of being an optimist.
Improving your optimism rates as one of the most important
actions you can take to improve your life. It doesn't come
automatically, though. It takes effort. It takes deliberate,
conscious awareness of your thoughts and feelings. And then
acting on that awareness.
Here's one starting point:
Practice your 'possibility thinking' and your 'possibility
feeling'. Give yourself permission to think new thoughts and
feel new feelings.
"Hey, wouldn't it be great if I got that promotion at work?"
And when the negativity creeps in -
"Get real. You know it'll never happen."
Just answer it -
"Yeah, but what if it did?"
"Well, it probably won't."
"Yeah but what if it did?"
And stick with it. You can always outlast that negative voice
inside, if you want to. You can always get in the last word.
Try it with one thing in your life. Then try it with another.
And along with those thoughts, always remember to feel the
feelings that come along with your thoughts.
Possibility thinking and feeling. It's worth a shot. And what if
it really worked? What if things changed?
How would THAT feel?