Are we ready to get older?
When I was on vacation last month, I visited my 91-year-old
uncle in the Midwest.
Uncle Bob is an amazing man for many reasons. He continues to
counsel people starting up small businesses. He makes toys, and
other things, in his woodshop as a hobby. He has to remind
himself to slow down because he forgets that he is 91.
Last year he started to take trips to all the places he's wanted
to go, but hesitated because my aunt wasn't up to it, including
cruising to Alaska, and taking a paddleboat ride on the Snake
River to follow the Lewis and Clark trail.
When he was about 80, his knees were giving out. It was very
painful for him to walk, and he thought about knee replacement
surgery. His doctors discouraged it because of his age (probably
figuring it wasn't worth it, he wouldn't be living that much
longer anyway.) But by 85 he decided to do it and that gave him
new impetus to step out and never look back.
Last year he moved into an assisted living facility, not because
he needs assistance, but because he was alone in a 4-bedroom
house and thought it would be prudent to set himself up for the
future. I visited him in his new place. Most of the people
around him were much less mobile than he was. Some weren't all
together there mentally. Uncle Bob remarked that although many
had led active lives, they "retired" to play golf and didn't
know what to do with themselves when golf was no longer an
option. Uncle Bob never retired; he stopped working for pay but
never put himself out to pasture.
I became increasingly uneasy and realized that I was up against
all those things that we (I) usually ward off: the knowledge
that I will become old, and perhaps helpless and infirm. The
knowledge that one day I will die. The knowledge that one day I
might be unable to take care of myself.
These realizations make us uncomfortable and cause us to live in
denial, resisting planning for times that we know will come. The
uncertainty comes from not knowing exactly when we'll need help,
or what state we'll be in. (Sort of like the government and the
levees in New Orleans.) Not thinking about it doesn't mean it
won't happen, it just means that we will be less able to cope
when it does happen.
The lesson I took away from this is that, God willing, I will be
91 one day, and although I don't have control over the future,
the decisions I make about my life NOW will affect how well, or
ill, I am living THEN. It really brought home to me that what I
do today has consequences for tomorrow.
Ask yourself these questions: * Are you living in a way that
promotes health? * Are you keeping your mind active and
challenged? * Are you giving of yourself to other people? * Are
you living each day as fully as you can (This isn't the same as
packing in every possible activity and chore you can think of.)
* Are you free of regrets? * Are you paying attention to your
spiritual life? * Are you living for today, but also making
plans for tomorrow? * If you are in recovery, are you pleased
with your recovery and where you find yourself today?
If you can't answer "yes" to these questions, consider what
adjustments you want to start making NOW so that when you're 91
(or so) you don't look back and wish you had done things
differently.