Goal Setting and how to Achieve your Goals - Tips From A Life
Coach
Goals - we have a love-hate relationship with goals. We love
them because they are such a great idea and are a superb way to
motivate us to achieve and then to evaluate our progress; but we
hate them, because for much of the time, they go unattained and
simply frustrate us. This isn't what goals should do!
Having been a Life Coach for many years now I would like to
suggest some straightforward and practical techniques on how you
can set goals you can achieve! After all, what good is a goal if
it isn't something you can achieve?
* Life Coaching tip no 1 - You have to want it!
Firstly - do not bother to set goals for things you don't really
want. For example: if your partner says they want you to quit
smoking or lose weight but you do not want to, why even bother
setting this as a goal. If your goal(s) are not something you
personally want to accomplish, and they are not relevant to you,
you are unlikely to succeed - because deep down you don't really
want to.
State your goals in a positive way - a goal should always be
something you want to have, or change. Not things you or someone
else think you should.
Always ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being totally
committed and 1 being zero commitment. How committed are you to
reaching your goal? If it is less than 8, you might want to
reconsider the goal.
* Life Coaching tip no 2 - Focus
Start small. Pick two or three areas that you want to work on.
Too many people say to themselves, "I want to do this, and this,
and this, and this......" and they end up achieving nothing!
Most of what you do throughout your day can be done without a
lot of mental effort, but change isn't one of them. So try to
keep your focus down to a couple of things. This way you can get
success in your identified areas. Here are some aspects of your
life you might like to think about: Physical, Intellectual,
Emotional, Spiritual, Financial, and Relationships. Now, which
is the first thing on your list? The others can follow later,
but for now, you should focus on two or three, no more.
* Life Coaching tip no 3 - Goals - the long and the short
So you want to lose 50 pounds? Good. Long-term you will. But for
now, think short-term. Don't think about losing 50 pounds by
February. Think about losing 10 pounds by October 1st.
This does two things. First, it makes it pressing and urgent.
Instead of saying, "I still have 6 months to lose the 50 pounds"
(6 months quickly disappears into 2 months, into one month -
with the 50 pounds still securely in place!) your first goal is
only a few weeks away, so you have to get started. This is far
more successful in terms of reaching your goal. Secondly, as you
reach these smaller goals (your mini-milestones!), you achieve a
success, which gives you regular motivation and encouragement to
keep going.
* Life Coaching tip no 4 - Make it manageable
Instead of saying, "I am going to quit my 20 smoking a day habit
straight off" change this to: "I am going to smoke no more than
15 a day for a week, then 10 the next week and so on." Give
yourself small victories a little at a time. It is far easier to
accomplish many smaller goals that make up a large goal - rather
than trying for the large goal straight off!
* Life Coaching tip no 5 - Reward yourself along the way
When you lose the 10 pounds by October 1st, go and order
yourself large mocha with cream from Costa's (just the one
though!), then get back to your goal for November 1st. This puts
a little fun back into the process of self-control and
self-discipline. You will look forward to and enjoy the reward
and when the going gets tough, you will say things like, "two
weeks to go, and only two more pounds to lose" etc - I can do
it, then I can enjoy my mocha guilt free!
* Life Coaching tip no 6 - Be specific with your timeline
Don't just say, "I am going to lose 10 pounds." Say, "I am going
to lose 10 pounds by December 1st." This way, when you start
being tempted into Thornton's Chocolates in the middle of
November - under the guise of buying early Christmas presents
for other people, you can say, "No way, only 5 more pounds to go
in three weeks and I am not going to blow it now."
* Life Coaching tip no 7 - Post it where you can see it
Keep your goal in the front of your mind at all times. Instead
of allowing yourself to 'forget' that you are trying to lose
weight by ordering a big slice of cheesecake, your visual
reminder will help you to choose something a little on the
lighter side but at the same time keeping on track - having your
cake and eating it! This will help you beat your desire and stay
focused.
Post your goal anywhere you will see it regularly, like maybe
the fridge or a mirror, on your wardrobe door - you know where
is best, you must be able to see it regularly throughout the
day.
* Life Coaching tip no 8 - Encourage, respect, and
accountability
Explain to a friend or family member what your goal is,
including the timeframe, so they can help you with it. This
person should regularly ask you, how you are doing etc? They
should hold you accountable, but at the same time keep you
motivated and encouraged. Obviously they must be the encouraging
type! (If not, ask someone else who is) If you are blowing it,
they can tell you so, but at the same time gee you up and say
things like "Well, that's okay, it's done now, don't sweat it,
just get back to it tomorrow." If you are doing well, they can
say, "excellent, well done etc" and make you feel great.
* Life Coaching tip no 9 - Write (and then reap) the benefits
If you are trying to lose weight your benefits might look
something like this: Feel better, better self-esteem, longer
life, clothes are more comfortable, a bigger choice of clothes
shops to shop it, your husband says you look 25 again and so on.
For quitting smoking, it may look like this: Fresher breath, no
more brown fingers, less wrinkles on my face, no more red eyes,
no more smelly clothes, longer life, and the wife won't make me
spend two hours a day on the back porch in the pouring rain
anymore! By making a list you will be able to you see what you
will benefit from accomplishing your goal.
Again it is a good idea once you have thought of these benefits
to write them down with your goal (On the fridge, mirror etc) so
that when you review your goal everyday, you'll also see the
benefits to achieving it.
* Life Coaching tip no 10 - You have succeeded - reward
yourself!
This can be anything - large or small. If you dropped the fifty
pounds, really treat yourself, plan to go out and buy yourself
that size 12 dress you have always longed for - and then wear it
with pride.
Make a deal with a partner or friend that if you reach your goal
they will take you out for a meal or and spoil you. Whatever it
is you plan, make it personal, enjoyable and desirable to you,
so you will look forward to it.
Do not miss this part out - it is one of the most important
bits. It will help to keep you motivated when you're struggling
and give you something enjoyable to aim for.
Make sure you reward yourself for all your hard work!
Remember folks - goals aren't just for footballers! They are for
us real people too!