Are You Participating in Your Own Life?
Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A
Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss by Debbie
Gisonni
If life were a pair of DKNY jeans, what would yours look like?
Would they be worn and faded, thinning in spots, soft to the
touch with the hem unraveling? Or would they be crisp and clean
with perfect creases and the tags still on them? If my mother
had her way, mine would be the latter. I was raised with what I
call a "life-saver" mentality. No, not the candy but the kind of
environment where couch cushions were covered in plastic and
never touched by human flesh, where bathroom towels were only
for show or company, where money was saved and only spent on
necessities, where new clothes were never worn right after you
bought them, where entire rooms in the house were not used, and
where the only lit candles were on birthday cakes or in church.
Many women in my mother's generation saved and collected a lot
of things they never used. Nothing too expensive--maybe a series
of decorative plates you see on late-night TV or a porcelain
doll advertised in Reader's Digest, complete with the birth
certificate.
When my aunt died, we found dozens of limited-edition plates
depicting everything from Elvis movie scenes to Chinese children
playing--all in their original boxes with protective coverings
and sales receipts, tucked away in drawers and closets, never
displayed, never used, never enjoyed. Why spend the money just
to hide them? Too often we save things in life for the wrong
reasons. Besides material goods, we save our emotions because we
don't want to be hurt, our appearance because we don't want to
look old, or our flaws because we don't want to be anything less
than the perfect woman. All this saving prevents us from fully
participating in the journey of life. We become bystanders
watching our lives go by instead of participating in new
experiences.
Today, make a point of lighting all the candles in your house
and allowing them to burn instead of collecting dust. Although
some prefer to stoke a log or two in the fireplace, I prefer to
line up about a dozen candles in my fireplace--all different
sizes, colors, fragrances, and shapes--and light them while
becoming mesmerized by the dancing flames that look as if
they're playing a well-orchestrated piece of silent music. Just
like the unique direction each life takes, and the variety of
experiences that await us, no two candles melt the same
way--some drip slowly like sap on a tree; some widen their walls
like the mouth of a cave, exposing their shimmering light; and
some collapse inward, engulfing their flame like molten lava.
You'll never know how yours will burn unless you light it. A
half-melted candle is like a wise middle-aged woman who has
enjoyed and savored life--a goddess who is not afraid to
continue to ignite the flame of life until there is nothing left
but a tiny piece of metal that once held the cord to that life's
existence.
Allow the flame of life to entrance you, burn you, titillate
your senses, soften you. Participate in life and you'll have
more fun than you ever imagined!