Be Present and Be Happier
Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A
Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss by Debbie
Gisonni
Have you ever watched what dogs do most of the day? Basically,
they lie around doing nothing. I'm always curious to know what
they're thinking about, or if they're thinking at all. Judging
by my dogs, I'm sure their thoughts have something to do with
their next meal, massage, or walk. We humans tend to spend a lot
of time thinking, particularly women who are masters at
multitasking. How many uniquely different things can you be
thinking of at one time? What to make for dinner, your child's
parent-teacher conference, the dog's vet appointment, a deadline
at work, the paint colors for the new bathroom? Scary, huh? We
think about what has already happened or what we assume might
happen much more so than what is happening right now. All this
time spent in the past and future leaves little or no time for
the present, which is the only time that matters.
It seems that something always has to go wrong in order to force
us to stop and be present. For example, when you have to drive
your car through a heavy snowstorm, you can't help but pay
attention to every bump and slide. Normally, though, you're
driving in autopilot while your mind is working overtime: "How
late will this traffic make me? I need to pick up Emily from her
soccer game. What am I making for dinner tonight?"
I have a beautiful, kind, loving, and generous friend who seems
to spend her whole life racing. In the twenty years since I've
known her, she's always running late from one appointment to the
next, talking a mile a minute and putting out some sort of
emotional fire at the same time. Sometimes when I'm with her, I
feel as if I'm in one of those zany dreams where you keep
jumping from one unrelated scene to another, with no beginning
and no end--just continuous but different streams of
consciousness. Meanwhile, I'm gripping the bottom of my seat
with sweat-drenched hands and wondering if she's going to step
on the brake before crashing into the car stopped in front of
us. It's not that I think she's a bad driver. In fact, she's
never had any accidents with me in the car (I can't speak for
anyone else). It's just that I know she's not present. I'm sure
her inner goddess is constantly crying out, "Stop, look, and
listen now," and while she might have heard this amid the
clutter of her mind, she's already deleted that scene and moved
on to a few others.
There will be times in your life where you rush to get to the
next thing--your job, your appointments, your partner, your
house-- without any consideration or participation in the
current thing, whatever that might be. When you look back, life
all becomes one big blur of images, like sticking your head out
the window of a speeding car. You're unable to clearly see
anything, whether it's right next to you, in front, or behind.
Life is in its most perfect state when you are present in every
moment. Living in the past or future, as we often do, only
serves to drain your spirit. You can't change what has happened,
nor can you worry about what hasn't happened yet. So instead of
living in the land of "I could've, should've, would've" or "what
if," try living in the land of "I am," because now is the only
moment a goddess can affect and enjoy.
As poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning said, "Light tomorrow with
today!"