Be Present and Be Happier

Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss by Debbie Gisonni Have you ever watched what dogs do most of the day? Basically, they lie around doing nothing. I'm always curious to know what they're thinking about, or if they're thinking at all. Judging by my dogs, I'm sure their thoughts have something to do with their next meal, massage, or walk. We humans tend to spend a lot of time thinking, particularly women who are masters at multitasking. How many uniquely different things can you be thinking of at one time? What to make for dinner, your child's parent-teacher conference, the dog's vet appointment, a deadline at work, the paint colors for the new bathroom? Scary, huh? We think about what has already happened or what we assume might happen much more so than what is happening right now. All this time spent in the past and future leaves little or no time for the present, which is the only time that matters. It seems that something always has to go wrong in order to force us to stop and be present. For example, when you have to drive your car through a heavy snowstorm, you can't help but pay attention to every bump and slide. Normally, though, you're driving in autopilot while your mind is working overtime: "How late will this traffic make me? I need to pick up Emily from her soccer game. What am I making for dinner tonight?" I have a beautiful, kind, loving, and generous friend who seems to spend her whole life racing. In the twenty years since I've known her, she's always running late from one appointment to the next, talking a mile a minute and putting out some sort of emotional fire at the same time. Sometimes when I'm with her, I feel as if I'm in one of those zany dreams where you keep jumping from one unrelated scene to another, with no beginning and no end--just continuous but different streams of consciousness. Meanwhile, I'm gripping the bottom of my seat with sweat-drenched hands and wondering if she's going to step on the brake before crashing into the car stopped in front of us. It's not that I think she's a bad driver. In fact, she's never had any accidents with me in the car (I can't speak for anyone else). It's just that I know she's not present. I'm sure her inner goddess is constantly crying out, "Stop, look, and listen now," and while she might have heard this amid the clutter of her mind, she's already deleted that scene and moved on to a few others. There will be times in your life where you rush to get to the next thing--your job, your appointments, your partner, your house-- without any consideration or participation in the current thing, whatever that might be. When you look back, life all becomes one big blur of images, like sticking your head out the window of a speeding car. You're unable to clearly see anything, whether it's right next to you, in front, or behind. Life is in its most perfect state when you are present in every moment. Living in the past or future, as we often do, only serves to drain your spirit. You can't change what has happened, nor can you worry about what hasn't happened yet. So instead of living in the land of "I could've, should've, would've" or "what if," try living in the land of "I am," because now is the only moment a goddess can affect and enjoy. As poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning said, "Light tomorrow with today!"