Emotional Intelligence - more than maturity

There are so many successful leaders with so many different styles, how can they all be right? Is there a common thread that helps make these people great leaders? I have been looking around me at work and there are a number of people with attributes I admire, but it was not till I read the article that I realised the common attribute. These people all showed what Goleman refers to as emotional intelligence. Harvard Business School - What makes a leader This article by Daniel Goleman is the definitive reference on Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It describes the five main components, how to recognise them in others and how to enhance your own. A quick quote here: building EQ "cannot happen without sincere desire and concerted effort", no seminar or how-to manual. This may sound a bit depressing but then as they say 'nothing great is ever easy'. While the road is long, the article is quite short and very digestible as the first step to your always improving emotional intelligence. Self-awareness is I feel the most obvious component. It's what many people talk about as essential for leaders. Covey's 7 habits is really about knowing your values or principles so that you can use them to guide your decisions. Its about knowing what you are good at and what you are not, its about knowing your 'hedgehog' as described by Collins in Good to Great - that which you are passionate about and good at. It's knowing how you are feeling, as if observing yourself and being aware of what triggers these feelings. For me it is about honesty to myself. It's the inner conversation with the honesty described above that Goleman calls "Self Regulation". This is the 'take a breath, think about your reaction and decide rationally how to react'. It is not about being in control of your feelings; it's about understanding them and being in control of your reactions to those feelings. Suspend judgement and let the emotion be accepted and the appropriate and best response be made. Goleman describes it as "an ability to say no to impulsive urges". Motivation to achieve is the third component. This is more than an "at all costs" to the top. It's a passion for the work, for continual improvement, for learning. It's the perspective that issues are opportunities. On its own, I don't feel extremely high levels of motivation makes great leaders, but combined with strong self awareness and regulation it is an awesome combination. I find it interesting that the key is all the parts, a low score in any one of these components breaks the model. Empathy. It sounds so soft and mushy! But it's vital. It's the understanding of the other person's feelings and taking this appropriately into account. It's not to please everyone or take on others emotions as your own. Being a natural introvert, I find this the hardest. When under stress, late at night, I fall back on making decisions based on hard facts. I struggle to understand everything myself without trying to get my head around how others may see all the issues. I feel for some this is quite a natural process. I have worked with people who I feel this is the only way they can look at things. They are like a toddlers mother, so involved in looking at the world from the child's view point they have stopped looking through their own eyes. As with most of life, balance and 'chosen' balance is the key. Leadership is nothing without networking and the ability to socialise. Here socialise is more than being friendly, it's about negotiation, finding common ground and relationship management. The ability to reconcile conflicting view points and persuasion are key factors. All the five components make up Emotional Intelligence. Look at the leaders around you, look past their personality and image. Are the ones you look up to exhibiting high EQ? - Some more than others right? Now look at yourself, which component do you come up short on? - ask your coach. I did, and when he told me, I felt I should have known. I also felt I didn't know where to go next? but at least I now know what I don't know. - Consciously unaware. Cheers Steve.