Emotional Intelligence - more than maturity
There are so many successful leaders with so many different
styles, how can they all be right? Is there a common thread that
helps make these people great leaders?
I have been looking around me at work and there are a number of
people with attributes I admire, but it was not till I read the
article that I realised the common attribute. These people all
showed what Goleman refers to as emotional intelligence.
Harvard Business School - What makes a leader
This article by Daniel Goleman is the definitive reference on
Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It describes the five main
components, how to recognise them in others and how to enhance
your own. A quick quote here: building EQ "cannot happen without
sincere desire and concerted effort", no seminar or how-to
manual. This may sound a bit depressing but then as they say
'nothing great is ever easy'. While the road is long, the
article is quite short and very digestible as the first step to
your always improving emotional intelligence.
Self-awareness is I feel the most obvious component. It's what
many people talk about as essential for leaders. Covey's 7
habits is really about knowing your values or principles so that
you can use them to guide your decisions. Its about knowing what
you are good at and what you are not, its about knowing your
'hedgehog' as described by Collins in Good to Great - that which
you are passionate about and good at. It's knowing how you are
feeling, as if observing yourself and being aware of what
triggers these feelings. For me it is about honesty to myself.
It's the inner conversation with the honesty described above
that Goleman calls "Self Regulation". This is the 'take a
breath, think about your reaction and decide rationally how to
react'. It is not about being in control of your feelings; it's
about understanding them and being in control of your reactions
to those feelings. Suspend judgement and let the emotion be
accepted and the appropriate and best response be made. Goleman
describes it as "an ability to say no to impulsive urges".
Motivation to achieve is the third component. This is more than
an "at all costs" to the top. It's a passion for the work, for
continual improvement, for learning. It's the perspective that
issues are opportunities. On its own, I don't feel extremely
high levels of motivation makes great leaders, but combined with
strong self awareness and regulation it is an awesome
combination. I find it interesting that the key is all the
parts, a low score in any one of these components breaks the
model.
Empathy. It sounds so soft and mushy! But it's vital. It's the
understanding of the other person's feelings and taking this
appropriately into account. It's not to please everyone or take
on others emotions as your own. Being a natural introvert, I
find this the hardest. When under stress, late at night, I fall
back on making decisions based on hard facts. I struggle to
understand everything myself without trying to get my head
around how others may see all the issues. I feel for some this
is quite a natural process. I have worked with people who I feel
this is the only way they can look at things. They are like a
toddlers mother, so involved in looking at the world from the
child's view point they have stopped looking through their own
eyes. As with most of life, balance and 'chosen' balance is the
key.
Leadership is nothing without networking and the ability to
socialise. Here socialise is more than being friendly, it's
about negotiation, finding common ground and relationship
management. The ability to reconcile conflicting view points and
persuasion are key factors.
All the five components make up Emotional Intelligence. Look at
the leaders around you, look past their personality and image.
Are the ones you look up to exhibiting high EQ? - Some more than
others right? Now look at yourself, which component do you come
up short on? - ask your coach. I did, and when he told me, I
felt I should have known. I also felt I didn't know where to go
next? but at least I now know what I don't know. - Consciously
unaware.
Cheers
Steve.