Limiting Beliefs
What made me who I am today
Pick up any great self-help book and within the first couple of
chapters you will be asked to explore your beliefs. Our beliefs
are the ultimate controlling force which determines the quality
of our present lifestyles and shapes our future destinies.
In life we experience defining moments, moments where
'something' happens. Quite simply an event takes place. We then
interpret the event and give it meaning. Once we have assigned a
meaning we then create a belief.
Lets look at an example;
Event: A young girl who came from a broken home and who lived in
a very poor part of town was asked at school to read a book and
to write a review. The book was difficult as it was aimed at
children from a higher grade. She approached the challenge with
the excitement of her love of reading and couldn't put the book
down nor complete the review fast enough. She handed her book
review a week before the deadline. Her teacher praised her for
her excellent work in front of the class. The headmaster praised
her in front of the entire school. The other kids turned on her
for making them look bad.
Meaning: The meanings she gave this event were 'when you work
hard, when you do things well, people take notice, people
remember and value you. When you love what you are doing the
work is easy to do'.
Beliefs: As a result of the meaning she gave this, she
established some beliefs. "When I do what I love and I do what I
have a passion for, life becomes very much easier" and "if I
love it, I can do it".
Evidence: Ever since that day in school, Oprah Winfrey has stood
by her beliefs and has created an amazing career for herself
from simply knowing that anything is possible if she is doing
what she loves. The message here is that we can choose what
meaning we give to events and the beliefs we create as a result.
Once we create the belief we spend the rest of our lives hunting
and gathering evidence to prove the belief. Oprah Winfrey has
spent her entire career proving her beliefs over and over again.
Consider the other meanings she could have selected;- If your
results are really good other people will turn on you. If you
work hard you get slammed for it. People in authority ridicule
you in front of others.
The first choice we make is whether to give an event meaning or
not. The second choice we make is whether to give an event a
positive or negative meaning. Just where exactly would Oprah be
today if she had chosen one of the other meanings and created
associated beliefs?
Think about your memories. Anything you can remember is probably
stored in your memory for a reason. What happened? What did you
tell yourself? What beliefs did you create as a result? How do
you continue to justify and prove that belief every single day?
The sad truth is that there is no actual certain hurt, pain and
danger out there. It's just a safety mechanism within us that
stops us from having the best that we could have, on the off
chance that perhaps, maybe it might possibly not turn out to be
a totally smooth ride.
Explore your defining moments and the meanings you have given
them. What are you telling yourself? Does your belief propel you
forward or immobilize you to the spot? For every limiting belief
refuse it permission to hold you back any longer. What has this
belief cost you so far? Deny it permission to affect your life.
Throw it away and replace it with a positive belief. What belief
could you create instead that if you truly believed, if you
committed to, could give you the outstanding life you deserve?