No Excuses
Excuse Me.
According to Collins Dictionary an excuse is 'a reason or
justification' or 'to make allowance for'. Perfect. We are so
good at avoiding what needs to be done or allowing ourselves to
accept less than we deserve that we even have a word for the act
of doing so.
'yeah but'...famous words! If you hear 'yeah but' train yourself
to understand that an excuse is on its way. The excuse is coming
any second now. Align the phrase 'yeah but' to a mental image of
a large bright red flag furiously blowing in the wind.
Because a life of 'yeah but' is simply not good enough for you.
A life of 'yeah but' means accepting an inferior path or a
lesser quality of life. Free yourself today from 'yeah but' and
notice how your life takes off around you.
Digging deeper, even worse than allowing 'yeah but' to enter the
vocabulary is the curios amount of energy some people will use
up in thinking up good excuses. We know that excuses lead to
less than we deserve and yet some people will spend vital energy
creating excuses.
'I haven't completed the project, what shall I tell my boss?' 'I
forgot our anniversary is tomorrow, what can I say?'
I realise that sometimes there is a need to bend truths. I
realise that sometimes it is appropriate to change the story a
little in order to not hurt other's feelings. What I am getting
at here is our internal truth. Our authenticity. Our core being.
Are you someone who operates using excuses? Do you allow
yourself to miss deadlines and not achieve your best, knowing
that you can offer up some deep seated well argued
justification, as opposed to just being your best?
Given the choice of putting the energy into the doing or putting
the energy into the justification and rationalizing, doing the
doing wins hands down every time.
Think about that 'thing' that is on your mind that you haven't
done. How much time have you spent avoiding, justifying,
excusing and minimalising the issue? How far towards completion
would you be if you had directed the energy towards the doing
instead? Would it still be on your plate right now?
We even go to the lengths of judging and awarding merit points
for excuses. Hence the phrases 'good excuse' and 'poor excuse'.
How come it matters whether an excuse is good or bad? An excuse
is an excuse. If we are not living to our best - does it matter
whether our rationalization is good or poor?
The challenge today is to free yourself from a life of excuses.
Step up if you have to. Hold yourself accountable to a higher
standard if you need to. Do whatever it takes to eliminate 'yeah
but' from your vocabulary.
Once we stop making our own excuses we also stop making excuses
for other. It is inevitable. A good example is a relationship.
We all know someone who tolerates more than their fair share in
a relationship. Some of us are guilty of doing this ourselves;
He doesn't ring when he said he would. She says 'he's probably
busy' She comes home in an angry mood and takes it out on him.
He says 'her work is very demanding'. He is physically violent.
She stays because 'I know he loves me'.
Having mastered the art of not making excuses for ourselves or
for others, the next level is to not accept excuses from anyone
else. The challenge tomorrow is to free yourself from the
excuses of others.
Behaviour creates behaviour. If you 'make allowances' for
others, they learn that allowances are made. If you hold others
accountable, they learn to be accountable. If you do not accept
excuses - others around you will stop offering them.
As I type this I can hear my ex boss saying 'don't tell me why
you haven't done it, tell me when it will be done!'
There's no excuse for excuses!