Lack of Confidence and its Effects
Confidence comes from within you. Confidence is also what you
show on the outside despite, or to hide, what you feel inside.
You may have the tools and skills to do anything you want in the
world but without confidence nothing will be done.
Okay, so we all know there are times when we may lack
confidence, particularly when we are faced with something new or
daunting. Sometimes, despite our lack of confidence, we do it
and sometimes we don't. This is a temporary lack of confidence
that can be overcome by experience and learning.
What is really debilitating is when we feel we lack confidence
to attempt to do anything. This is more than just a temporary
loss of confidence. This is a total lack of confidence that may
be allied to low self esteem and a negative self image.
People who lack confidence will often also have a negative image
of themselves or their skills. They may also feel that they lack
control or direction in their lives, in many cases they may feel
that someone or something else is controlling or determining the
path of their lives. They can also feel that any success they
achieve goes unrecognised or is 'claimed' by someone else.
These other people or forces controlling the person may be their
parents, schools or institutions, the government, their boss or
company, or God or spiritual force such as 'fate'.
Often a lack of confidence may be cyclical or accumulative. That
is to say that a lack of confidence brings about a lack of
achievement or recognition for the sufferer. This lack of
achievement brings about a greater or deeper lack of confidence.
This deeper lack of confidence brings about more lack of
achievement...etc, etc.. At its extreme, the lack of confidence
leads its sufferer to withdraw and not attempt things because
they feel they will not achieve or gain recognition and thereby
come to lack any motivation.
It is important to remember that few people lack confidence in
all areas of their lives. Some may lack confidence in their
work, others may lack confidence in their learning, or their
relationships or their sporting abilities. The lack of
confidence in an area only becomes an issue when that area
becomes important or takes up a fair proportion of time in the
person's life. Many people may lack confidence in, say, their
sporting ability but this is not an issue for them if playing
sport is not a major activity in their lives.
What does be come a problem is when a person lacks confidence in
their own self image or in their own belief in themselves. This
is more serious and in such cases the lack of confidence is
likely to affect the person's performance in many areas of their
life and hinder them in leading a fulfilling and happy life.
It is my firm belief that coaching can help overcome a lack of
confidence in a person by combating low self esteem, promoting a
positive self image and supporting a person to recognise and
reward their own achievements.