Discernment And Judgement
Two Sides of the Same Coin?
Discernment is an inner guide or compass. It is loving and
expansive, and offers freedom, honor and options. Judgment on
the other hand dishonors, condemns, and contradicts.
Judgment is all about others. It always sets up a polarity or
emotional value of this is good and this is bad. An example of
this is: A person looks at a brown car and decides brown cars
are boring and ugly.
Being judgmental forms a vicious cycle. The very nature of
judgment is to always focus or look at the bad. And since "like
attracts like" looking for the bad becomes the black DOT, or
primary focus. The alarming reality of this is, not only does
one only focus on the bad in others, but that is all they can
see about themselves. To be honest, one first becomes intimate
with their own feelings of shame and inferiority. Then as a way
to get relief, they target someone else to shame, so they can
feel superior (rather than inferior).
Discernment on the other hand is assessing a situation
objectively, with no emotional attachment, to decide what ones
decision is. In this case: A person looks at the brown car and
decides they do not care for the color of the car. Discernment
is all about oneself, This is not for me. Discernment does not
offer excuses, blame others or make empty promises. Discerning
individuals do not change the facts to what they think they
should say, they conform their actions to the facts.
Discerning individuals accept others just as they are. And they
are aware they have choices or options that can assist them so
their best interest is served. For example, I accept that my
co-worker talks a lot about how "rough" her life is. For me,
this is not something I enjoy hearing or taking a part in. In a
conversation if I notice she is doing this, I have options on
what I can do. I can change the direction of the conversation to
a topic that we both enjoy, I can excuse myself from her
company, etc. Discernment is all about choosing what kind of
experience and life you want for yourself.
Discerning individuals have the following attributes:
▸ They know disagreeing is an acceptable option ▸
They are in charge of their life, and ready to make choices
▸ They know NO THANK YOU is an acceptable response ▸
They realize some people may not like or agree with their
decision and choices ▸ They choose what brings them peace
▸ If in the process they feel uncomfortable they know this
is acceptable, as they are forming a new habit that serves them
While we may decide to discern rather than judge from here on
out, we have to realize that judgment does exist within us,
unconsciously at times, formed from past belief systems and old
habits that we have not yet released. So if you do catch
yourself judging, don't judge the judgment! Simply be thankful
it came up to be recognized and can be released. This now gives
you the option to "switch gears" and discern at the next
opportunity.
Mary Kay Buttery, 2005
Don