No excuses for all that
The following article recently appeared in 24 Hours Vancouver.
No excuses for all that
by the seed
Infidelity: an ugly beast that most people must deal with.
Let us make something perfectly clear: nobody cheats by
accident. It is never a mistake. Can you imagine? "Honey, I was
walking down the street and I tripped and next thing you know I
was having sex. It was an accident."
Tripping is an accident, cheating is ... CHEATING. It is that
cut and dried.
Scenario 1 plays out sort of like this: you have struck up a bit
of relationship with someone at work. Every day is filled with
flirting. The two of you anticipate the day when you will
finally get to consummate your friendship.
One problem: She has a boyfriend. Well, it is not really a
problem. You must ask yourself two simple questions: do you
actually like this person and can you in all honesty imagine
having a relationship with her?
If the answer is "Yes", then there is no problem at all. You
have to let her know that the flirting must come to a stop.
It is not fair to her boyfriend, or for that matter, to you. As
long as she is attached you will no longer partake in this
behaviour. You must make this perfectly clear.
Scenario 2:
You or the love of your life has strayed for some reason and
have spent some time in someone else's sandbox, toy room or
whatever euphemism you choose to use for the infidelity.
Your relationship may be on the rocks. Perhaps you even truly
love the person you are with. Yet due to your own dysfunctions,
you feel trapped.
There are a few things that may happen. It may be a one-time
thing, or something your mate stumbles across by accident.
Maybe they confront you with it because they have some hard
evidence.
Or maybe someone you know, a friend, a family member or worse
yet, someone who has ulterior motives, knows and informs you of
it.
If you are the one doing the cheating, you soulless, spineless
... Please take a step back and realize what pain and suffering
you are about to inflict.
Why are you about to do this to someone you love? A simple
answer: All because of your own selfishness. If you can't keep
it in your pants, then get out of your relationship.
If you are the one being cheated on, the answer is simple, but
it may not be something that you want to hear.
There is almost no excuse for the disrespect and if you are to
find out, you must initially leave.
That is your only option. If you don't, you will never find the
respect that you deserve and maybe you don't even deserve that
respect.
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Lindsay Wincherauk is a co-author of Seed's Sketchy Relationship
Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a
bar regular).
For more info visit: www.seedenterprises.com