Self-Opinions---Can Limit Our Lives
Dr. Phil says each of us has a personal "truth" -what we
believe of ourselves when no one else is looking-- and from this
comes results in our lives that are in keeping with that truth.
Let's call it our "opinions" of ourselves. They take many
forms, we have an opinion of ourselves in every aspect of our
lives; how we look, how well we speak, think, walk, work, dress,
make love, treat others, etc., etc. These opinions, not being
obvious, require some honest inward thinking (introspection) to
ascertain their nature.
One of the best clues we can use to recognize the nature of
these opinions is to first look at the results. Do we dress in a
sloppy way because we believe we don't deserve to look neat? Do
we avoid applying for that better job because we believe we
don't measure up? Do we refrain from asking that attractive
person for a date because we believe we are not attractive
enough? Do we not speak out because we believe our thoughts are
not interesting to others?
Beliefs, though natural and not dictated by our conscious
minds, can be changed. Opinions are formed by observed evidence
so all we need to do is provide some evidence to the contrary
and our natural common sense takes over and makes the change for
the better.
We probably can't make a sweeping change over night butwhy not
a little at a time? Choose some aspect of your life that you
think might be held back by a poor opinion and decide that you
want to change it. Maybe you are overweight because you believe
deep down that you can't lose any. Pick a small goal like losing
five pounds. Just do it, find a way. There! You just proved you
can lose weight and your natural sense believes the evidence.
Now you know you can. Look around at work. Ask for more
responsibility or volunteer for extra duties or tasks. Do a good
job on these and there! You've proved to yourself that you are
more capable. Find some time to get some daily exercise and
you'll be surprised at how confidently you'll walk and even
actually feel. (This deserves a separate report).
Choose any aspect of your life and make a small positive
change. Just like that you've reversed a negative belief, turned
around, and moved in a desirable direction. Now make multiple
small changes and sooner or later there can be a big change,
just as a bricklayer builds a structure brick by brick.
It takes time and effort to effect changes but don't you
personally deserve some? (This could be the first and best
change in your self-opinions).
Your reward can be a real makeover. Small changes multiplied
over and over can add up to big changes. With better
self-opinions comes better results which in turn leads to a
better life-a new you!