What are You Dismissing?
I had lunch with a dear friend the other day. While I enjoyed
the company and the food, I left feeling a little depressed.
When I thought about it, I realized my friend was brilliant at
dismissing every book, concept, guru, self-help method, or
healing approach he had read or heard about.
He was not directly negative or purposely critical. He sincerely
wanted something that would work in his life. But he was
unconsciously dismissing everything that came his way.
At one point I told him about a guru I had studied over two
decades ago. I told him that people said, "My guru was obviously
enlightened. He radiated it."
My friend cut in saying, "I'm sure there are people who saw that
guru and didn't think he was any smarter than a paper bag."
Well, my friend is right.
But my friend is also unhappy.
I think there's a lesson here. When we dismiss people and ideas
because the entire world doesn't agree with them, we get to be
right. But we also get to stay empty inside. By dismissing what
could work, we dismiss our own growth. We dismiss what's
possible.
It doesn't matter if the book you read and love is loved by
anyone else. It doesn't matter if the teacher you admire is
admired by anyone else. It doesn't matter if the healing method
that worked for you doesn't work for everyone.
What matters is you. Your happiness. Your health. Your healing.
Your well-being.
Truth is, no method works for everyone. No teacher is right for
everyone. No book is going to inspire everyone.
It all comes from within. You are the first and final authority
on your life.
Rather than dismissing what is possible so you can be right,
what can you accept so you can grow?
Dismissing is often a way to deflect the messages. It's a
self-defense mechanism. If you dismiss the book, idea, or method
offered to you, you get to be right --- and stay right where
you're at.
Every successful person I know has accepted new tools into their
lives over the years, spent thousands of dollars on personal
growth and self-study, and never regretted any of it.
The key is not dismissing, but digesting.
For example, Nerissa and I had dinner with friends recently. One
friend was complaining about her job. >From her perspective,
there was no way out of the misery she felt at her place of
work. Bad boss. Bad hours. Bad pay. You name it, it was bad.
Later we were joined by other friends. As "chance" would have
it, one of the new friends had connections with where our
complaining friend worked. He gave our unhappy friend a name,
and said he could help her resolve her issues. He went on to say
that this connection was a supervisor, head of many departments,
and could probably resolve whatever was wrong.
I was stunned. So was Nerissa. We were seeing magic happen right
before our eyes.
But what did our unhappy friend do with her new lead and new
hope?
She dismissed it.
She didn't write down the name or the numbr, or show any signs
that something wonderful had just occured.
Do you see how this works?
Sometimes we can self-sabotage the things we say we want. We
simply dismiss the good.
Let me end this with another example:
Yesterday I received a letter in the mail about a new
audioprogram about dissolving illusions. I read the piece but
dismissed it. I figured it was simply stuff I had already heard
before and probably even recorded elsewhere myself.
Then today I got another mailing, this time from a different
source, but selling the exact same audiopogram. I read it over
closely. I thought, "This is interesting, but I bet there's
little new in it." I then placed the mailing aside.
An hour or so later, as I was reviewing this very article you're
reading right now, I suddenly realized that I was doing the very
thing I am warning you not to do: I was dismissing an
opportunity to learn.
I dug out the mailing, filled out the order form, and dropped it
in the mail. The audios are on the way.
The point is not that you buy everything that comes your way,
but that you don't dismiss everything that comes your way.
Sometimes a dismissal is a mask. It's your self-sabotage at
work, keeping you where you're at. To grow, you must allow.
Again, you are the final authority on your life. Tune in to
yourself and do what's right for you. And as you do this, be
alert to those times when you may be dismissing the next gift to
come your way.
Let your guard down, and let life in.