Shut Up And Learn Something
Have you ever noticed that arguments are rarely "won?" Even if
you think you won an argument, what did you win? If there really
is a loser, he at least learned something, right? What did you
get? Ego satisfaction, debating practice, and diminished mind
power.
Arguing Diminishes Mind Power?
There are times when things need to be debated, but most of the
time, it really isn't productive. Do you want to argue the
point? What do you get from a useless debate, and more
importantly, what do you lose?
One thing is certain. A person listening to arguments can learn
something from both sides, but what about the participants? If
your opponent makes a really good point, do you say, "Hey,
you're right!" or do you more often just look for a better
argument?
Arguing too much gets you in the habit of looking for arguments
more than for truth. You also get deeper into your thinking ruts
the more you defend a position. In a rut and ignoring the truth?
If that doesn't sound like it's good for mind power, it's
because it isn't.
Mind Power From Listening
If you say the moon is closer, and I say the sun is, one of us
has to be right. If you say nurture is more important, and I say
nature is, we're both right. The first argument has clearly
defined terms. This isn't common, and even here, what's the
point of arguing?
In the second example, our arguments have to do with values and
experiences. We've seen different things in life, and we could
spend a lifetime defining "important," or I could shut up and
listen. My mind becomes more powerful with the addition of your
ideas and knowledge. Listening is the better way.
To break the habit of arguing, purposely ask for peoples
opinions, and listen without saying anything. You can ask them
to clarify, but don't offer one contrary idea. Do this enough,
and you'll be surprized how much you learn. Some of us are also
surprized by how difficult this simple technique can be, but it
works.