You Can't Have An Intelligent Conversation With Everyone
Intelligent conversation is one of life's pleasures. I love
nothing better than to engage in conversation with someone who
has ideas to share, different perspectives, and is interesting.
An intelligent conversation is food for the brain. All too
sadly, not everyone can carry on an intelligent conversation.
This has less to do with their intelligence quotient (IQ) than
with their emotional quotient (EQ). Only a self-aware,
self-confident person with excellent social skills has the
ability to engage in intelligent conversation.
Intelligent conversation happens when people come together with
a win/win attitude, don't try to change anyone's opinion, and
are open to new ideas. Intelligent conversation is the bridge to
greater understanding. People engage in intelligent conversation
for no other reason but to explore, discover, and learn. There
is no other agenda.
People who struggle with, or cannot hold, an intelligent
conversation come with an agenda. They want to thrust their
ideas onto others, get their point across, and will resort to
personal attacks if necessary. They come with a win/lose
mentality and are not interested in learning and discovering.
His or her idea is the only one that matters, and anyone who
doesn't agree is a threat. Intelligent conversation with these
types of people is impossible and dangerous.
There are times when we can be in the middle of what we think is
an intelligent conversation and discover that we are not. Don't
try to deal rationally with such a person. It won't work. Their
only concern is themselves and their ideas. If they feel
threatened in any way, they will attack. The best thing you can
do is remove yourself from the discussion. It is possible to
continue the conversation - only now it won't be an intelligent
one.
Don't assume that everyone wants an intelligent conversation.
There are people who are not capable. That doesn't mean that you
won't be able to converse with them. It just means that the
conversation will be shallow and meaningless, which can be
alright at times. Not every conversation has to be enlightening.