Need To Stop Worrying?
I once worked with a woman whose zest,joy and enthusiasm lit up
the room [and it was a big office!]
I remarked that it was lovely that she was always such uplifting
company.
"Oh,I wasn't always like this", she replied. "It all changed
when my dad died, when I was about forty."
"Was he that bad?" I asked her.
"On the contray," she told me "he was wonderful." However, just
before he died he made a confession:
"Darling, I have ruined my life with worry. And not one thing
I've worried about has ever happened! Don't let the same thing
happen to you!"
Something "clicked" within her. And she kicked her worry habit
from then on!
If you need something to 'click' to stop you worrying I hope the
following helps:
Often when a worry 'pops in' the normal reaction is to try and
solve it. This is fine if there is something tangible that can
be done right now. However, many worries are either entirely
imaginary, or a small 'problem' is blown out of all proportion.
So what happens is that you try to 'solve' what doesn't exist.
The more you try and solve it the worse the 'problem' gets.
A wise old woman once said to me "Why are you worrying what
you're going to say to so and so a week on Monday? You'll be
there' you'll know!"
Lets take an imaginary, but common, example:
Miss Anxious starts worrying that she may lose her job. She
tries to solve this imaginary 'problem' by looking for a new
job. But if she can't get another one, she'll have to sell the
house. And if it doesn't sell and she can't afford the mortgage
payements....and so on, until she's pushing a shopping cart,
containing all her belongings, around the streets...
In reality Miss Anxious is lying on a lovely beach 'enjoying' a
well earned break from a hectic career!
By the way, her boss finds her invaluable.
A very effective way to 'solve' this sort of imaginary worrying
is to let the thought be there, but not trying to 'solve' it.
This may sound simple, but it's very powerful. It's common to
get worries popping into our minds. They are often nothing, just
bits of nonsense. Not worth our attention. Trying to push them
away or solve them can make them into monsters.
Just let them be, until they leave on their own. And they will.
If another 'worry' takes its place, treat it in the same way.
Miss Anxious has just read this and now she's enjoying her well
earned holiday. Somewhere there's a slightly worrying thought at
the edge of her mind. But she's giving most of her attention to
the wonderful present moment.
Enjoy your present moment, be in the now, and everything will
take care of itself.