Passion And Soulfulness
When I think of nourishing the soul, I think of nurturing the
ability to respond positively to life that is, the ability to
sustain passion for our interests, values, and projects. I
believe that the worst of all spiritual defeats is to lose
enthusiasm for life's possibilities.
Every life has its share of setbacks and disappointments of
tragedy and loss. So the question we all confront, in the face
of negatives that may assail us, is: How do we keep our inner
fire alive?
Two things, at minimum, are needed: an ability to appreciate the
positives in our life and a commitment to action.
Every day, it's important to ask and answer these questions:
"What's good in my life?" and "What needs to be done?"
The first question keeps us focused on positives; the second
keeps us proactive and reminds us that we are responsible for
our own happiness and well-being.
Another aspect of focusing on the positive, and thereby
nourishing the soul, is to stay focused on the inquiry "What in
my life do I most enjoy? What most stimulates me?" Someone once
said that you can know who a man is if you know what wakes him
up.
The pleasures that nurture me personally may be as simple as
enjoying the view of the city and the ocean from the window of
my living room, or spending time in the garden, or appreciating
good health. Of course, one of the greatest joys that nurtures
me is that I have a loving relationship with my wife. In
addition, when I think of nurturing the soul, I think of
listening to music and rereading books that have meant a lot to
me. I also think of the act of writing. When I spend time at my
computer, writing, I almost invariably experience a tremendous
sense of appreciation of how wonderful it is to be alive. If I
am away from writing too long, I feel discouraged, or at least
dispirited. Writing takes energy, and it also creates energy.
For all of us, the key is to pay close attention to which
activities make us feel most alive and in love with life and
then try to spend as much time as possible engaged in those
activities.
Even when our life is most difficult, it is important to
remember that something within us is keeping us alive the life
force that lifts us, energizes us, pulls us back sometimes
from the abyss of despair. True spirituality does not exist
without love of life.
If we feel unhappy or unfulfilled, the most urgent question is,
"What needs to be done?" Or one might say, "What's missing in my
life and what can I do about it?" The sin is to suffer
passively. We must never forget that we have the capacity to
act. So we must always be concerned to know "What avenues of
action are possible to me? What can I do to make my life
better?"
If we stay oriented to the two basic questions "What's good in
my life?" and "What needs to be done?" and strive to respond
to those questions appropriately, the predictable result is that
we will be happier human beings and get far more of whatever it
is that we want in life.
Some writers Erich Fromm, for one contrast a so-called
"being" orientation with a "doing" orientation. The implication
is that being and doing are in some sense antithetical. Of
course, they are not. Doing and being, action and stillness, are
dependent on one another. Without action, we would cease to
exist, and without stillness, we would neither be able to
appreciate our existence nor have a foundation from which to
act. We need stillness, we need the pure experience of being, in
order to fully realize ourselves. Out of that stillness can come
the motivation to act and also the awareness we need to act
wisely, not to lose perspective. When being and doing are in
harmony, when stillness and action are friends to each other, we
create an integrated, satisfied soul. We are then in the best
position to truly enjoy and appreciate life and not be destroyed
by adversity.
Another aspect of nourishing the soul is the ability to stay
focused on the present, to live in the present. Many years ago
in the 1960s, I was writing a book called The Psychology of
Self-Esteem. I was a young man at the time, in my thirties, and
one day I was sitting at my typewriter, impatient for the book
to be finished, thinking that my life would really begin to
unfold only when this book was finished. Yet I intuitively knew
that something was wrong with this line of thought. So I asked
myself what I thought I would be doing when the book was
finished, and I immediately answered, "Planning the next book."
And when the next book was finished? "Planning the book after
that." I saw that my life, first and foremost, was about
writing: that was and is my passion. So, in the middle of
writing The Psychology of Self-Esteem, I finally realized "This
is it. This is my life. If I can't enjoy it now, every day,
there is no reason to believe I'll be better able to enjoy it in
the future, after the seventh, eighth, or ninth book."
That realization was a turning point for me. The impulse to
focus on the future can be quite strong. It's natural to look
ahead. Yet I realized that the key to happiness lay in enjoying
the process, not just the final result because the greater
part of my life was going to be spent at the level of process
and not at the stage of contemplating the finished product. So
now I bless each day I can get up and go to my computer and sit
down to write and know and love the fact that this is what my
life is about.
I believe that earning your living doing something you enjoy is
one of the very best ways to nourish yourself. But even if you
are employed at something that is not your ideal work, it is
important to find ways to take as much pleasure in it as
possible. Living in the present moment can make ordinary
activities more interesting and joyful, you may be surprised, if
you only look, at what you will find. If you try to stay
connected with why you are doing what you are doing, for
example, then even the parts of your life that aren't especially
exciting can become more meaningful. Sometimes I have to go to
an event that doesn't especially interest me. I've learned to
tell myself, Make this experience as happy for yourself as you
possibly can. Once that becomes a conscious purpose, it's
amazing how imaginative one can become. Life becomes infinitely
more interesting.
Nothing I am saying about the importance of living in the
present denies the value of being concerned with the future. We
want to keep in mind our goals, what we're moving toward, and to
see the progression and direction that underlie our activities.
We need to be able to plan for the future without sacrificing
the present, and enjoy the present without making ourselves
oblivious to the future. Obviously, we cannot control every
single aspect of our life. We are not omnipotent. But we do have
an enormous degree of responsibility for the shape our life
takes. We have many options about how we will respond to events.
We are not passive spectators, but active contestants in the
drama of our existence. We need to take responsibility for the
kind of life we create for ourselves.
How do we nurture the soul? By revering our own life. By
treating it as supremely important. By reaching for the best
within ourselves. By learning to love it all, not only the joys
and the victories, but also the pain and struggles.