Why Pacing and Leading is for Wimps!
Okay, you have read some books on body language and they all
said you must mirror and match, pace and lead....
And you failed miserably when you went out into the real world.
Let me tell you why and what you need to do instead. But first a
story that illustrates my point...
A few years ago I moved into a very well paid position in the
company where I worked. And in my new job I was dealing with
company directors, business owners and senior executives -- face
to face.
And to make it all even more challenging I would meet them on
their territory - in their offices.
Teachers of pacing and leading would tell me to pace these
executives and then to gradually lead them.
However this is the 21st century where everything happens at
warp speed. You need to take charge of social interactions
within the first 5 seconds or its all over.
First impressions do count.
This applies in business and in your social life. If you
hesitate, wait and even... pace and lead the game will be over
before you know what has happened.
Here is what you need to do:
1 Take Great Care of Yourself.
Get enough sleep, eat well and take exercise that makes you feel
good on a regular basis.
Neglect your body and your emotional state will slide too.
And before you know it you will not have the energy to rise to
the occasion.
Having tons of energy is absolutely crucial if you want to
excel. When you feel fantastic it gets easier and easier to be
at your very best whenever you choose to be.
2 Lead and then Pace!
Instead of pacing and leading do this...
Get yourself into a great emotional state FIRST. The other
person will then follow your lead.
The more energetic you are, the happier you are and the more
confident you are --- the easier it is to lead the other person.
You can lead in many ways including....
- being abundantly happy
- smiling and genuinely caring about the other person
- exuding enthusiasm and excitement
If as you read this you think - hang on, what has this got to do
with communication?
It has everything to do with it.
93% of communication is non-verbal. Remember that.
That is why I place so much emphasis on mental and emotional
states - if you don