Improving Your Self Esteem
Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of
celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of
the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society
also sends a message of competition and achievement. We watch
sports, we always hear about profit and the bottom line being
the dollar, we see large companies competing and constantly
buying each other out. The result often is that we are taught to
see how well we are doing, in terms of how pretty we are, how
bright we are, what kind of house we have, how well we do in
sports, what rewards we receive. However, in reality, these are
external measures. Each of us needs to develop a sense of
self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that comes from
within. Here is an example: Sara was divorced and felt in many
ways that she had shortchanged her two daughters, in the sense
that they lived on very little money. She could shower few
luxuries on them. At times, in her therapy, she talked to me
about feeling that she was not much good at anything. Her
husband had been abusive both physically and mentally, and had
put her down almost constantly. Although she no longer lived
with him, inside of herself she still carried feelings of
worthlessness. One day I asked her to review some of the best
moments in her childhood. She said,