Improving Your Self Esteem

Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society also sends a message of competition and achievement. We watch sports, we always hear about profit and the bottom line being the dollar, we see large companies competing and constantly buying each other out. The result often is that we are taught to see how well we are doing, in terms of how pretty we are, how bright we are, what kind of house we have, how well we do in sports, what rewards we receive. However, in reality, these are external measures. Each of us needs to develop a sense of self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that comes from within. Here is an example: Sara was divorced and felt in many ways that she had shortchanged her two daughters, in the sense that they lived on very little money. She could shower few luxuries on them. At times, in her therapy, she talked to me about feeling that she was not much good at anything. Her husband had been abusive both physically and mentally, and had put her down almost constantly. Although she no longer lived with him, inside of herself she still carried feelings of worthlessness. One day I asked her to review some of the best moments in her childhood. She said,