Look in Your Fridge
Have you looked in your refrigerator lately? What do you find
there? Leftovers from yesterday that are still appetizing? Or
bits and pieces of meals you've eaten at some indeterminate time
in the past? Do you save food that isn't enough for a meal for
one, thinking you can incorporate it into some future gourmet
creation? Is your fridge stocked with glowing, healthy,
nutritious and appetizing food? Or fruits, vegetables and other
food well past its prime?
You might think this is a strange topic, but I think there is a
relationship between what's in our refrigerators and how we
filter past experiences. In order to truly look forward to the
future, we need a clean starting point, and that point is now.
In order to truly live in the 'now', we need to be free of past
beliefs, past hurts, past situations.. If we are hanging on to
old hurts, or to negative beliefs about ourselves because of
past situations, it is very difficult to put all of our energy
into creating life as we want it to be.
So, when you look in your refrigerator, if everything you see
isn't vital and fresh, it's very possible that you're hanging on
to old stuff in your consciousness as well. The problem is that,
like the bit of cheese that gets lost way in the back and when
you find it you have trouble remembering it was cheese, these
memories go deeper and deeper. The deeper they go, the more
likely they are to influence your life today, and the harder it
is to remember that that's why you do what you do.
It's a lot easier to clean out your refrigerator than to clean
out these old hurts. But it is possible. Here is a 4-step
strategy to release yourself from these limiting memories. Doing
any one of these steps will go a long way towards liberating you
from the past. I've also included a 5th method, a shortcut for
those of you who, like me, prefer doing things the easy way!
(1) Identify the areas of your life where you do things that are
designed to protect you.
Some examples of this might be not trying something new (so you
won't fail), not initiating communication with others (so you
won't be rejected), having trouble trusting people for a long
time (because they might hurt you in some way), not committing
to a relationship (because they might leave you). You may need
to think about this for a while. Because we don't like to think
of ourselves as living defensively, we usually come up with
other reasons for our behavior. Seeing the connection between
the what and the 'true' why may take some time.
(2) Remember when you first felt that way.
Once you make the connection between a behavior and 'true' why,
try to remember the first time you felt the fear behind the why.
For example, your fear of failing might be linked to something
that happened in the 3rd grade, when you put a lot of energy
into something and someone, the teacher, perhaps, belittled your
efforts and embarrassed you in front of the class. It would be
very difficult to continue trying after that. In my experience,
most people, when asked this question, usually have a ready
answer. When asked why they're afraid to fail, the memory of
that teacher usually pops right up. The trick is to ask the
question.
(3) Rewrite your history.
Let the strong (perhaps adult) you rewrite this event and
release the negative emotions around it. Visualize the
situation, but this time have the person act in a loving,
nurturing way, the way you would act if you were that person and
in that situation. [This is very likely the way you do act. Our
past experience tends to make us extremely sensitive when we see
situations that resemble a negative memory. We tend to go out of
our way to make sure that others aren't encumbered with the same
negative beliefs.] If you find it hard to reframe the memory,
then visualize it as it happened, but this time you (the strong
you) step in and comfort the you (often the child you) it
happened to. Say all the things you wish someone had said to you
right away. Remember, you are not trying to change the past as
much as changing your reaction to it.
(4) Release the old energy.
Very often, rewriting your history is enough to let go of the
negative memory that is limiting you today. You may, however,
need a little more work to be completely free. Sometimes it is
good to finish this exercise by writing a letter to the person
involved. In this example, it would be to your 3rd grade
teacher. Just start with Dear Mrs. Pringle, and let yourself be
free to write everything you're feeling. This is usually a mix
of emotions, but don't forget to include a thank you. Part of
who you are today is because of this situation. It may have made
you more caring and more sensitive, so be sure to include that
as well. The important thing is to include all your feelings.
When you've written all there is, BURN the letter. Release the
entire episode into the universe. Remember that this is about
you and not about the other person. You may choose to share the
experience with them after you burn the letter. If they are
still a part of your life, you may want (or feel a need) to do
that. But, whether you do or not (and you don't need to for this
to be effective), you will notice a change in your interactions
with them the next time you see them. You'll be free.
(5) Shortcut Step: Clean out your fridge!
Let's end where we started. Double the effectiveness of cleaning
out your refrigerator. With each item that you toss, create the
intention of releasing old beliefs, situations or people. With
each item, say something like 'As I release this old food, I
release all old hurts and negative beliefs. I am free.' As you
play with this, the phrase that will have the most meaning and
effectiveness for you will evolve. Use it everytime you throw
something out and notice how your life starts changing.