En-JOY Your Life!
Have you ever noticed that your state of mind, whether you're
happy, sad, angry, fearful, feeling any emotion at all, is
directly related to what you're thinking? True, there may be an
external situation that's causing you to have those thoughts,
but it's your thoughts that dictate how you are feeling, not the
situation.
I'm sure you can think of a time when you heard a piece of news
that would normally have caused a negative emotion, but you were
in such a good mood that it didn't throw you off balance. You
were able to look at the situation in perspective (the place you
usually get to anyway) because you were feeling, and 'thinking',
good. In fact, you've used this knowledge. How many times have
you picked the 'right' time to tell someone bad news, knowing
that bad news isn't so bad if you're in a good mood?
And when your thoughts are positive, when you're happy, aren't
you at your best? Don't you find that you're more productive and
creative? Don't you find every aspect of life to be exciting and
you look forward to what else it has to offer? I suspect these
are the days you enjoy most.
These are two facts that we all know. But most of us have
stopped there and haven't made the connection between the two.
What if we took it to the next logical step, which is to control
our thoughts, so that we're always (or almost always) in a
positive place? Instead of just observing what you're thinking
and the effect it has on you, if you don't like what you're
thinking, consciously choose to change your thoughts to
something that makes you happy. This is the secret to en-joying
your life, to put -- and keep -- joy in your life: constantly
monitor your thoughts and when a thought isn't bringing you joy,
change it to a thought that does or start enjoying the thought
you're having.
As you go through your day, ask yourself 'Am I enjoying this
thought?'. If yes, wonderful! Keep it up. But if you can't
answer that question with a loud, resounding, and immediate
'Yes', then it's time to work on your thoughts. You have two
options. First, you can choose to change the thought and just
start thinking of something that does bring you joy. I find this
works best if you have some 'joy-ful' thoughts ready,
particularly if the negative thoughts you are having are
recurring ones. Write down 5 negative thoughts you keep having.
Cross each one out and write down your 'replacement' thought.
For example, if your negative thought was 'I can't help myself',
your replacement thought could be 'I can help myself' or 'I love
the roses in my garden'. It doesn't need to be connected, it
just needs to replace the old thought and be a thought you enjoy
having! Being prepared with a new thought allows you to save
valuable and critical time in changing your mood. Every second
you have a negative thought, the more entrenched it gets.
If you're like me, however, you may find it difficult to just
switch gears, or your negative thoughts are too random to
prepare for in advance. I find it much easier to work with the
second choice. Start playing with the thought until the mood or
energy around it lightens up. There are a number of different
ways you can do this. You can visualize the thought (the easiest
way to do this is to put it in a word balloon, like in the
comics). Make it big. Make it small. Make it tall and narrow, or
short and wide. See it close up, then far away. Add color to it.
Take color away. Add sound. Just play with it!
What works well for me is to say it out loud, using funny
voices, changing the pitch and the rhythm, slow, fast, drawing
out different words. I find is that after a while, I'm smiling
at how silly the whole thing is. And the negative thought? It
just loses its juice. It stops controlling me once I start
controlling it. I am constantly amazed at how effective such a
simple thing is, that it's possible to start enjoying every
thought I have.
'There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.'
-- William Shakespeare
-------------- Adapted from the work of Dr. Christian Almayrac,
as described in the book 'The Enlightened Smoker's Guide to
Quitting' by B. Jack Gebhardt.