Is It Safe To Change?
As I'm working with my clients, I encourage them to feel safe.
When I lead them in imagery to find a special, safe place, a few
clients cannot imagine a place like that. Some of them don't
even feel safe enough to allow the relaxation process to occur
because, in their whole life, they've never felt safe. There are
many parts of the world where an individual's life is threatened
as a result of war, famine and other violent issues. But there
are many people in the west who feel insecure because their
family was internally war torn.
Only when a client feels safe to make the changes that they want
will those changes actually occur. The problem they want to
change served some purpose in the past. By the time they come to
consult me, it's become a problem. The subconscious will many
times resist the change because it's still trying to protect
them. Overeating, smoking, excess drinking are some of the ways
the subconscious uses to safeguard an individual. These habits
serve the purpose of stuffing, holding in or numbing emotions
because those emotions were unacceptable to their family. It may
also help them by keeping other people away so that the person
avoids further hurt.
Self-judgement and self-condemnation might have become coping
mechanisms to avoid excessive criticism from the family. Not
being successful as an adult may be a way to avoid breaking a
family rule about "Not getting too big for your britches."
Health issues could be an attempt to get positive attention or
even avoid negative attention as a child. Seeing a parent who
was ill could create an unconscious model to follow to be like
that parent. If you're like the parent, there's a better chance
of being accepted by him/her.
All of these are ways the subconscious has found to help you in
the past. That help is probably outdated, but your inner mind
doesn't realize it. The subconscious doesn't feel safe enough to
change the pattern. Your first step is to find a way to allow
the subconscious to feel safe enough to change to a better
experience.
If you have an intractable challenge, write down how it might
have benefited you in the past or present. There's always some
advantage to it, or the subconscious wouldn't be holding onto it
so hard. How did it make you feel safe? Now, find a way for the
subconscious to feel safe so it can release the challenge. It
may be something like discovering another way to achieve the
benefit.
A person wanting success might give themselves permission to
release the family's attitude about success. For health issues,
recognize that you don't need a parent's acceptance now. The
subconscious won't change until it feels that you'll be safe.
When you're able to make a new pattern feel more secure than the
old one, the subconscious will mobilize its resources and accept
the new idea.
Contemplate your connection to the Universe. The Universe wants
the best for you and will keep you safe when you rely on It. You
are an individualized expression of the Universe, and It has
given Itself (as you) all you could ever desire. You just have
to feel safe enough to accept it. The old patterns were just
outdated ideas that helped you at a time when you needed them.
You've outgrown them just as you've outgrown training wheels on
your bicycle. The Universe provides everything you need for the
full, joyful experience of life.
When you're able to recognize how and why it hasn't felt safe to
change, address those subconscious concerns by realizing that
you're in a different space and time, and feel the security of
the Universe, your subconscious will cooperate with you to
expand into a greater experience of life.
Affirmation: The Universe provides me with everything that I
need for a full, joyful, harmonious life. It's safe for me to
change. My subconscious realizes that the old ideas no longer
serve me. I've outgrown the need for the old pattern. It's now
appropriate for me to create new mental patterns. I feel secure
and whole with my new mental, physical and emotional concepts
and life. It's safe for me to expand into a greater experience
of life