10 Emotionally Intelligent Questions to Ask Before You Marry
"10 Emotionally Intelligent Questions to Ask Before Your Marry
Someone." by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach
1. Is it just sexual attraction? Sexual attraction comes from
the reptilian brain and is automatic and powerful because it
relates to our survival. It's not always a basis for living with
someone happily. Don't let it "hijack" you. Find out what else
is there.
2. Do they like to touch and be touched?
This is important to your mental and physical health.
3. Do they look at your with affection and kindness? Most
communication is nonverbal.
4. Have you used your thinking brain?
EQ means using all 3 brains. Are you compatible in your daily
habits? You'll be keeping house together. Do you have the same
values and priorities?
5. Does he or she have emotional self-awareness? How are they at
empathy?
One of the most predictive traits for compatibility is if you
can sense the other's sadness.
6. How optimistic is this person ?
Optimism is the facilitator of all the EQ competencies. In
addition, optimists live longer, enjoy better health, and
accomplish more.
7. Are they intentional?
Intentionality, an EQ competency, is saying what you mean and
meaning what you say. Also being accountable for the motives
behind your actions. If you have commitment to the relationship,
i.e., nobody's going to go away, you'll work through problems
differently.
8. How resilient are they?
How do they manage adverse events and setbacks? Have they been
able to grow through adversity, not just go through it?
9. How do you and your partner manage anger?
Successful couples soothe one another instead of agitating and
escalating.
10. How balanced is their life?
Resilient people combine learning, work and leisure throughout
their lifetime.