Maybe You Are a Victim
If you've ever watched Oprah or heard someone speak about her
show - then you've probably heard of Dr. Phil McGraw. For awhile
on Oprah, every Tuesday, Dr. Phil was conducting, along with 42
volunteers, The Get Real Challenge. It was interesting to watch
- when I could - the volunteers challenge everything in their
life. The goal was to wake people up and have them start looking
at their lives through a different lens. They were asked to be
honest and specific while dealing with their INTERNAL feelings,
or internal clutter as I refer to it.
In one of the many exercises, Dr. Phil talks about the "tapes"
playing in our heads: "Think of a big tape player in your head
playing a continuous loop. The message that is repeated over and
over becomes so well learned that it becomes an automatic
belief. It's time to go into slow motion for a few minutes and
get in touch with what you've been telling yourself. It's time
to talk about your tapes."
Dr. Phil then asks, "What are your tapes playing?"
So I want to ask you: =>What tapes are running through your head
regarding your clutter, possessions, and stuff?
=>What tapes are running through your head regarding your
hoarding or packrat of things?
=>What tapes are playing in your head that cause you to continue
to bring unnecessary items into your life?
=>What tapes are running through your head when you continue to
buy, buy, buy?
=>What tapes are playing in your head when you continue to add
more to-do's to your list?
Maybe.... ...You grew up during The Great Depression Era where a
piece of twine was as valuable as a piece of fresh fruit and was
told that you must save EVERYTHING!.
...You were told to never throw anything away that still had
"life" in it, "just in case," or it's still good for something.
...You were told to NEVER part with a gift given to you - that
you must always keep that gift out where the giver will always
see it.
...You feel you're not good enough for anybody or anything and
your possessions temporarily fill your emptiness.
...You are buried in pain and sadness from the past.
...You feel shame, failure, or embarrassment from all your
clutter and hoarding.
...You feel unimportant or undesired.
OR MAYBE you were told you would NEVER have anything!
Then you're A VICTIM
Dr. Phil goes on to say that we need to name our pain, reveal
the pain so we can move forward. We have all been a victim of
something. Some wrong doing to our bodies. Some wrong talk of
our being. Some injustice to our way of thinking or dealing with
stuff.
Discovering who or what victimized you can be a powerful release
for you, but how do you find it?
Try answering the questions below honestly and to the best of
your ability. Write your answers out. Let the pain and sadness
pour out on the paper. Cry, scream, let it out, and let it go!
=>Who might have hurt you or what deep sadness have you been
carrying around? =>What are you keeping locked up deep down
inside you? =>What secrets are you carrying around with you and
possibly using your "stuff" to hide behind? =>When are you going
to open up to yourself? Will today be the day? =>When were you a
victim? =>What was done or not done to you? =>What was given or
not given to you? =>What was said or told to you over and over
again? =>Where is all the anger, fear, and pain coming from? Is
it something you've never dealt with? =>Why won't you talk to
yourself or someone about it? =>How are you going to deal with
it?
To gain control of your life, your stuff, and the tapes running
through your head you MUST STOP playing the victim! You will
have to get emotionally closer to your sadness and pain before
it can be released or dealt with. You must give your sadness and
pain a voice. One day you must make a turn in your life and deal
with it. Why not today?
Don't let your tapes eat away at you silently - deal with it
today and stop hiding behind your stuff. Allow yourself to go
forward with your life and become clutter free.
Dr. Phil told the volunteers of The Challenge that they needed
some new tapes to start running, and that if they couldn't do it
alone to please get some help! He also told them they can't
change what happened but they can change what will happen. You
choose!
Isn't time to stop feeling or acting the victim because of what
might have happened to you in your past? As long as you live in
the past and have an "oh poor me" attitude you will NEVER be
able to move forward. You are in CONTROL of your life NOW! You
get to decide and take responsibility for your actions. Not the
people that might have done you an injustice. Not the people
that couldn't give you what you wanted or needed. Not the people
that might have given you too much or too little. Not the people
that have hurt you in some way. If you feel you are lacking
something in your life then just visit any shelter, without
judgement, and just see what lack really is. What do you have
that you can give to others?
Release, unwind, and let go of the tapes that tell you you are
not worthy, you have to keep every gift, you must hold on to
items that are still useful, that you must keep just in case, or
that you must buy, buy, buy.
You need to: =>Address your clutter problems to find the
solutions. =>Stop believing what you've been telling yourself;
"one day I'll get organized," or "I'll keep this just in case,"
or "It's too good to throw away," or "My best friend gave this
to me." =>Declare this a new day with new thoughts.
You NEED to get some new tapes in your head!
Today I'll start to get organized. Today I'll start to sort
through the clutter. Today I will DECIDE for myself what I
should keep. Today I'll look at my stuff differently, through my
eyes. Today I'm willing to let go of items that no longer serve
me, make me unhappy, have bad memories, or are no longer wanted.
Once you start releasing (giving) the things that might be
causing your pain, anxiety, or sorrow then get ready to start
receiving (getting) the things you really need, want, or have
been dreaming or wishing for.
The Universe is very powerful and will quickly replace the
things in your life that you've let go of freely with those of
your true needs or desires.
Victim of something - probably. Freedom to change and make
choices - ABSOLUTELY!
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made
a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define
yourself." --Harvey Fierstein
For additional help: The Organizing and Feng Shui Wizard, Janet
L. Hall, FSII has a FREE newsletter, OverHall IT! at
http://www.overhall.com/newsletter.htm and many organizational
products for your office, home, and computer at
http://www.overhall.com/products.htm Janet is a Professional
Organizer, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, Speaker, and Author
and can help you regain control of your life, your time, your
stuff, and your environment.
Copyright (c) 2002 by OverHall Consulting P.O. Box 263, Port
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