Your Ears: The Best Gift of All -- In Three Steps
"Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker.
When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging,
intensely interested listening, our spirits expand." Sue Patton
Thoele
YOUR DE-TALK CENTER
Here is an excellent and effective way to improve your
listening. Find your Listening Center, a place and a way your
body can help you listen. Do just three things to put yourself
in your Listening Center.
SHUSH, JJ
Remember Judgment Jabber (JJ), that internal voice that judges
you? It can be a mighty powerful impediment to listening. It's
the voice inside that tells you are doing something incorrectly,
or you can't do something, or you are not doing well enough, or
someone does not like you, or you are ignorant, or your hair is
wrong. Recognize that voice?
Some of us are not aware that Judgment Jabber is talking to us
and competing for our attention when we are trying to listen. Or
that it is making us so nervous that we cannot listen well.
By becoming aware of the voice, we very often lessen its
negative effects. We can even talk to it. Give it a name and ask
it to be quiet for a while. "Jezebel, I am busy listening right
now. Shhh." You will be surprised at how the recognition can
calm it. That's the first step in finding your Listening Center.
"The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is
to listen." Roy E. Moody
DIS-ARMOR YOURSELF
We all have places in our body where we hold our tension -- our
personal body armor. Mine is usually in my jaw. This tension can
be a great interference with listening. However, if we are
conscious of it, we can catch this tension when it begins to
take hold, stop it and relax it. Check for your body armor when
you are listening. Relaxing it is the second step in going to
your Listening Center.
"Trees are the earth's endless effort to speak to the listening
heaven." Rabindranath Tagore
THE LISTEN POSITION
We have a certain posture, maybe more than one, which we
associate with listening. Right now assume a posture that
indicates that you are hearing just about the most boring person
you have ever heard. That's your opposite-of-listening posture.
And now assume a posture that says you are listening to the most
fascinating and brilliant person ever and you want to hear every
word. That is your listening posture. If you pay attention to
the posture of your body when you are listening, you have taken
the third step in resting in your Listening Center.
That's all there is to it. Still your Judgment Jabber, relax,
and put your body in a listening posture. Go to your Listening
Center and it will be a tremendous ally in making you an
excellent listener.
AND TODAY . . .
"When you listen attentively to somebody, you forget yourself.
If you cannot forget yourself, you never listen." Osho
You can easily make your Listening Center a part of you, second
nature, and automatic. It simply takes a bit of practice. Today
begin your practice. When you are listening, consciously follow
the three steps to your Listening Center.
It may feel a bit awkward in the beginning but the more you do
it, the more it will become a part of you, a splendid habit.
Find your Listening Center at least once an hour today. It will
become easier and easier. Today is the first day in developing
your new habit. As the days go by, you will marvel at how easy
and effortless it is for you to listen.
The benefits are astounding: friends, success, respect, much
more.
And you will be surprised at what you will hear when you really
listen.