Midlife, Dreams & The Questions to Ask Yourself
Midlife is a challenging transition when you tend to take stock
of your life and your dreams. Make a list of the dreams from
your youth and ask yourself these questions about them. Then
give yourself permission to let go of the dreams you no longer
need and make some new dreams suitable to the new you and this
new stage of your life!
1. Was this an 'ego' dream, i.e., something you did to prove
something to someone or to yourself instead of something you
really wanted.
Example: Getting a law degree when you didn't really want to be
a lawyer.
2. Is this dream still suitable for you?
Example: Wanting to be a Broadway star when you're really a
homebody, hate to travel, don't like to be in the spotlight, and
got rid of the urge by starring in local theater productions.
3. Was this dream really yours or was it someone else's like
your parents, boss, manager or spouse?
Example: Becoming a real estate broker instead of a real estate
salesperson to please your boss.
4. Do you still want this dream? If so, is it possible? If so,
is it worth the price?
Example: Becoming a writer.
5. Did any of these dreams come true and then turn out to be a
nightmare?
Example: The property you bought on the lake that turned out to
be environmentally protected so you couldn't build on it; or
your first spouse.
6. Were any of these dreams pure fantasy that you never meant to
have happen?
Example: Marrying a count and living in France, which got you
through college in Grinnell, Iowa.
7. Did having any of these dreams come true prove transitory and
unsatisfying?
Example: Buying the El Dorado with the leather seats.
8. Did this dream come true in essence though not in particulars?
Example: You dreamt of being a chef and instead turned your
culinary talents and love into some unparalleled dining
engagements at your house which was entirely satisfying.
9. Which of these dreams turned out to be met and enjoyed?
Celebrate them!
10. What have your learned by going over this list?
Example: That many of the dreams you no longer want or that some
of them weren't really yours to begin with.
One of the privileges of midlife is being able to change your
dreams. Plant the seeds for some new ones and watch them grow!