Resilience: An Emotional Intelligence Competency We Need Today
We are focusing more now on emotional intelligence (EQ), as it
becomes increasingly evident that it can be the crucial factor
in determining success and happiness in our careers and
relationships. Once we have the fundamentals in
place--education, expertise, and skills--how we handle ourselves
and others is what makes the difference.
Resilience is an important EQ competency. It means being able to
bounce back after setbacks, failures, disappointments and
losses. It means not giving up, and continuing to face the
future with optimism and courage despite events. Because life
will have its ups and downs, one of the most important things we
can do is learn how to bolster our resilience. We can do this by
understanding the competencies that make people resilient and
then working with a coach to improve our skills in these areas.
Being resilient is going to be extremely important in the future
as the pace of change continues to escalate.
People who are the most resilient have these competencies:
1. They are reflective, able to look back on experiences and
extract the kernels of wisdom from them. 2. They don't back off
from realisty, but face it squarely, labeling things for what
they are--setbacks, losses, disappointments. 3. They know their
feelings, label them correctly, and express them fluently and
routinely to others. 4. They are able to separate
timezones--past from present from future. 5. They commit to the
agony of grieving for as long as it takes. 6. They find meaning
and purpose in their struggles, knowing that they will benefit
in the end by a greater understanding of the fundamentals of
live. 7. They have a high EQ, including being able to think
flexibly and creatively under stress. They expand rather than
shut down when faced with a challenge. 8. They keep a reserve of
energy built up through regular periods of rest and renewal. 9.
They have a strong network of individuals they can depend upon,
and who know and accept them as they are.