Being Successful & Being Nice
"If you are successful, you may win false friends and true
enemies. Succeed anyway." -- Mother Teresa
I was surfing the Internet the other day, and since EQ
(emotional intelligence) is my field, I was looking at an EQ
site. The person, who was an aspiring corporate coach, said,
"EQ. It's not soft." What does that have to do with the
quote from Mother Teresa and what is this all about?
Often people are confused about what's "soft" and what's --
well, whatever the opposite of opposite of that is. Essentially
it's a question of how to keep boundaries and still be a nice
person. That is, "liked". How to succeed and not lose something
of value in doing so.
Since Mother Teresa is everyone's favorite candidate for
sainthood, perhaps you'll find her statement surprising, as I
did. It's also enlightening. This woman, who engaged in good
works, manifesting hope in near-hopeless situations, was
evidently "hard as nails". Well, come to think of it, she'd have
to be. She was clear about her expectations and her boundaries.
She looked reality right square in the face with that statement,
and gives us permission to go ahead and succeed. How else can we
help ourselves and others? How else can we make a difference in
the world and life fulfilling lives?
It isn't a zero-sum universe. One person's success does not come
at the expense of someone else's. Hard, soft, male, female, have
nothing to do with it. Other qualities do, including emotional
literacy, hard work, intentionality and authenticity.
Success is a win-win situation. There's plenty of success to go
around, and using your "soft" skills, your emotional
intelligence are what will get you there in the long run.