Anger Resolution for Couples
Communication is a key component to maintaining a healthy and
nurturing relationship. One of the most common and damaging
relationship pitfalls is the unheard problem that erodes a
relationship over time.
Unfortunately, we are not taught how to get our feelings heard
and our needs met without fighting with our partner. When you
are spitting mad, taking the time to actually sit down and think
about what is going on with you is easier said than done. Here
are five STEPS that will help you get your feelings heard, your
needs met, and lead to constructive problem resolution.
Set Boundaries Think before you act Express Peace Sync up and
acknowledge
1) Boundaries
While you and your partner are in a good place, establish
boundaries for resolving a problem. Boundaries are lines that
you draw to protect yourself from behavior that you find
damaging. These boundaries should be anything that either you or
your partner deems destructive to your communication process. It
is important to remember that this is not about consensus. If
one partner has a boundary of not yelling in anger and the other
partner has a boundary of no swearing, both boundaries are
honored. Not breaking the ground rules you both establish for
disagreements will go a long way in constructive communication.
2) Think before you act
When you find yourself getting angry or resentful toward your
partner, it is easy to slip into blaming. Blaming will only lead
to more hurt and anger. Now is the time to get clear about how
you feel and what you need. Let's use a simplified example to
demonstrate the process: your partner is two hours late getting
home, and hasn