Anger Resolution for Couples

Communication is a key component to maintaining a healthy and nurturing relationship. One of the most common and damaging relationship pitfalls is the unheard problem that erodes a relationship over time. Unfortunately, we are not taught how to get our feelings heard and our needs met without fighting with our partner. When you are spitting mad, taking the time to actually sit down and think about what is going on with you is easier said than done. Here are five STEPS that will help you get your feelings heard, your needs met, and lead to constructive problem resolution. Set Boundaries Think before you act Express Peace Sync up and acknowledge 1) Boundaries While you and your partner are in a good place, establish boundaries for resolving a problem. Boundaries are lines that you draw to protect yourself from behavior that you find damaging. These boundaries should be anything that either you or your partner deems destructive to your communication process. It is important to remember that this is not about consensus. If one partner has a boundary of not yelling in anger and the other partner has a boundary of no swearing, both boundaries are honored. Not breaking the ground rules you both establish for disagreements will go a long way in constructive communication. 2) Think before you act When you find yourself getting angry or resentful toward your partner, it is easy to slip into blaming. Blaming will only lead to more hurt and anger. Now is the time to get clear about how you feel and what you need. Let's use a simplified example to demonstrate the process: your partner is two hours late getting home, and hasn