The Sexual Double Standard
We still live in a society that promotes the notion that it is
normal for a man to desire many women and yet normal for a woman
to desire only one man. Our beliefs about male and female
behavior may have been helpful in the past, but today they are
doing much more harm than good. As a society we need to stop
perpetuating the myth that females are naturally monogamous
because this erroneous belief keeps women from taking
responsibility when they do cheat. Unfortunately, when women
cheat they typically put the blame on their husbands.
Most of the prevailing beliefs we hold about women were created
and taught to control the sexual behavior of females in an
effort to ease paternity insecurity in males. When females give
birth they know the children they give birth to are biologically
theirs. Males on the other hand, prior to DNA testing, had to
rely on the faithfulness of their partners; which is the reason
a sexual double-standard emerged. However, over time the sexual
double-standard gave way to a false belief that females were in
fact naturally monogamous. Today, it is no longer necessary to
continue teaching this false belief because DNA testing allows
males to have the same certainty about paternity as females.
Today, women initiate approximately 70 - 75% of all divorces.
Due to our false beliefs, women lack adequate knowledge about
their natural sexual impulses; as a result, they are much more
likely than men to leave their marriages due to their sexual
attractions and affairs. Although women typically pursue
separations and divorces under the guise of "searching for self"
the real reason is often another man. It's not uncommon for
women to be happily married prior to their affairs; it's also
not uncommon for men to be divorced by their wives without ever
knowing about their wives' extramarital relationships.
For many years now, women have been knowingly or unknowingly
performing a balancing act - trying to attain equal rights,
while at the same time, trying to maintain their special rights.
Interestingly enough, most women are still not happy. Women
continue to feel they get the short end of the stick. Women
still do not feel as though they have equal rights, much less
special rights, why? Because the sexual double standard still
exists in our culture; but ironically, women's final right to
claim is the root from which their oppression stemmed.
However, it is no longer men who oppress women - it is women.
Women have not yet decided whether they want to trade their
"image" and all the special treatment that it affords them, for
the "public" sexual freedom which is afforded to males. As a
result, one of the biggest problems in relationships today, is
due to the fact that women are finding it increasingly more
difficult to maintain their "image," now that their survival is
no longer contingent upon it.
It is only by doing away with the sexual double standard that
females will finally achieve the equality they have so long
sought after. However, in doing so, they will have to give up
one of their special rights - they will no longer be able to
blame males for their sexual indiscretions and their lack of
self control.