Parenthood and Sexuality
1st Internet Question: HOW WOULD YOU CONCEPTUALIZE AN EFFECTIVE
SEXUAL EDUCATION PROGRAM? WHO WOULD TEACH IT? AT WHAT AGE WOULD
ONE BECOME PART OF THE PROGRAM? AND WHAT SHOULD BE INCLUDED IN
THE PROGRAM?
THE RESPONSES COME FROM 3 CHRISTIAN WEBSITES.
1) Corbin says: I believe the person who heads this program
should have a scientific background as well as a spiritual one,
and that it should include all age groups at the level of their
understanding. It should also include all aspects of sexual
activity on a practical basis.
2) Martha says: I think that such a programme should be taught
by someone perfectly objective who would expose the learners to
all the different views that they were going to encounter,
encourage them to think for themselves, and to form their own
opinions from the facts and arguments given. It should start at
an early age, but its content, of course, should change over the
years according to the maturity of those concerned. It ought to
include information and balanced views about all the different
types of sexual experience known to date. It ought to educate
about how all human beings develop sexual appetites which are
perfectly natural, whilst at the same time warning of the risks
carried by sex, and how to avoid diseases and unwanted
pregnancies, and how to deal with the narrow-minded views we see
today. It should also warn of the negative forms in which sex
comes, eg. rape and pornography, and how society might progress
to avoid such things.
3) Mathew says: RN's make fantastic teachers. Teaching is what a
good nurse does best. Teach the biology but emphasize the moral
component. Discussing scenes from TV or movies and asking what
is wrong there, is a powerful tool. I find an important point to
emphasize is the idea of exploitation. Is he having sex because
he can "score" and brag to the guys? Is she having sex because
he is rich and she can get presents? It is less threatening to
kids if you start out with examples of adult relationships and
gradually work back to their age. They see hypocrisy in adults
where they won't see it in themselves. Scare stories will
backfire,.so be careful with them.
4) Jane says: My husband spent all his life teaching children
with "Learning Difficulties". And for a while he was asked to
teach these kids about sex. He found that the best way to do
this was by keeping the subject "simple and direct". And I
believe this is true no matter at what level of maturity the
person is at.
5) Mathew says: God bless your husband, Jane. Teaching
especially mentally retarded clients about their own sexuality
is vitally important and so seldom done.
6) Vera says: You know what the problem is in my opinion? It
isn't that we don't have good sex education programs, it's the
fact that sex shouldn't have to be taught by anyone but the
parents of the children. So many times, parents teach their kids
everything except about sex. They learn it from other places,
and they don't understand what it's all about. So, no, I don't
think we need a better program. I think we need more parents
involved in talking to their children about all aspects of sex,
and what to do, or not to do.
7) Ned says: You don't need a more effective sexual education
program. You only have to turn the matter over to God. Don't you
think He can handle it?
8) Corbin says: I agree with Vera when she said parents should
be more involved, but someone also said that it should be
parents who listen to the Church's teachings on the subject. The
problem here is that so often the Church gives no instruction on
this matter, or it gives a very negative tone on this subject.
9) Rudolph says: We were created without clothes. If we returned
to this natural state God intended us to be in, the curiosity
factor would disappear in time and sex education would become
natural as it was intended to be in the beginning. We know
pretty much it will be a long century before this type of
thinking becomes widespread, still there exist Christian nudist
colonies now, and from the best of my knowledge such cultures
have a lower rate of unwanted pregnancies, and sexual violence
is unheard of.
10) Frank says: Christian nudist colonies! Now that's original.
11) Vera says: Hmmm.. I think the sexual freedom that was
experienced in the 60's was enough to show us that it doesn't
work that way. It was those who decided to make love to everyone
that helped cause our society to be bombarded with diseases.
Nah, I think I'll keep my clothes on.
2nd Internet Question: IF NEITHER ABSTINENCE NOR SUBLIMATION
RELIEVES ONE OF HIS OR HER SEXUAL TENSIONS, HOW ABOUT
MASTURBATION, EITHER INDIVIDUALLY, OR WITH YOUR PARTNER?
1) Jim says: If you are talking on a purely physiological level,
masturbation should be a solution. However, if you are asking
"Is masturbation an acceptable substitution for promiscuosness
i.e. outside of marriage, than the answer is no. It appears that
masturbation is just one step removed from being homosexual in
the minds of some religious leaders.
2) Corbin says: With this approach you can avoid pregnancies,
sexual diseases, situations where birth control might seem too
inconvenient or not safe enough, and it seems harmless enough.
Besides it can relieve you of an awful lot of sexual tension so
you can focus more successfully on more productive issues. I
know about this because masturbation has been a very important
part of my life at one time. An event stands out for me when I
attended the university many years ago. A counselor to whom I
was assigned asked me the shocking question as to whether I
masturbated because I was very shy at the time. I did, but I
felt very quilty about it. But the fact that he asked me made me
feel much easier about it. And now I raise this question in case
others, even today, might have the same problems I had. I know
it kept me from being successful in more productive activities
that I should have been engaged in. In fact I put the same
question on a more conservative Christian website and they
canceled the question indicating that this is a question that
shouldn't even be discussed.
3) Mathew says: If the good Lord didn't want us to play with our
goodies, why did He make our arms so long? Why do folks get so
uptight over a perfectly natural behavior that is a reasonable
preparation for or substitute for marital sex? Even monkeys do
it at the zoo. Why should they have all the fun.
4) John says: If normal sex were determined by what is most
common, then masturbation would win hands down. With most men I
still think this would be the most common form of sex for a
number of reasons. For the first twenty years of a man's sex
life, his need is above his opportunities. Then later comes the
problem aspect when he begins to worry about performances and
being able. This is a great part of the midlife crisis for a
man, although not the whole thing. I consider midlife to be a
second adolescence, if shorter, but may be more intense and
panicky. Then at some later stage it may be less important.
Probably why most men find wisdom, if they do, at old age where
their minds are not obsessed by sex.
5) Sarah says: I appreciate what Corbin just said. I think that
was very brave of him. And my own response to the question is
that I can't see any reason why not. Consider, for example, a
couple where one partner is ill or too disabled to enjoy normal
sex. Should they just "burn"? I don't see why, when the natural
way to release the frustration and tension is there. I never
thought 50-odd years ago, that one day I'd be talking to a bunch
of strange men about a thing like this. Aint progress wonderful?
6) Mathew says: Of course, many of these men grew up convinced
that the lustfull stirrings of youth would send them straight to
hell. And to change the subject. Hey guys! Girls do it too! In
the 19th century, physicians diagnosed women who got irritable
and nervous as having hysteria due to pelvic congestion. The
treatment for this was deep pelvic massages by the physician
until the lady started making funny little grunty and panting
noises and had a "hysterical paroxysm". She'd usually come back
in a week or two for another treatment.
7) Robert says: Corbin, I assume you have neither gone blind nor
developed hair on your palms, otherwise we would be discussing
illogical causation. John is more than right about this activity
being normal and most common. As to Corbin being censored, think
of it as being a vote of appreciation by the prurient right
8) Mathew says: Maybe it keeps you chaste.
9) James says: What about cyber-sex?
3rd Internet Question: WOULD SOCIAL NUDISM (BOTH SEXES) BE
HELPFUL IN ELIMINATING EXCESSIVE SEXUAL FOCUS IN ONE, THAT COULD
LEAD TO SEXUAL PERVERSIONS?
1) Corbin says: I believe it would because I know it changed my
life most dramatically in a very positive way. Before the nudist
camp experience I had, I did have this excessive focus on sexual
matters that hurt me quite a bit in that I couldn't concentrate
on more productive endeavors. After this experience this focus
was diminished considerably and gave me the freedom to accept
myself as to who I really was in God's image, which in turn gave
me the freedom to accept others as they were. In other words, I
started looking at people, especially of the opposite gender, as
individuals rather than as objects. Also, at the camp, I noticed
that after awhile you never noticed the nakedness of the people,
you just saw them as individuals. I further discovered outside
the camp that if you were open with others about your nudist
interest, discussion with these others often led to a new
in-depth level of discussion openness. Therefore, through my
experience, I feel we should never become ashamed of another
person's nakedness, regardless of the other person's gender, as
well as our own nakedness. And one other on these websites had
the same experience as I had
2) James says: The Bible offers no support whatsoever for
voluntary nudity, and in fact makes it a shameful thing. Once
sin entered the picture in the Garden of Edan, Adam was the one
who became aware of their nakedness as being an issue, not
because the body is shameful, but because sin is shameful, which
affects the whole person, inwardly and expressed outwardly. And
Adam and Eve tried to cover themselves up with fig leaves. It
was God who took the skins and saw to their covering, making it
clear that people should be clothed. Publicly naked people
naturally remind others and God of the sinful nature of mankind.
Nudity is just plain shameful, not expected behavior for
Christians, no matter how one is accustomed one has become to
the practice.
MOST RESPONDEES AGREED WITH JAMES ON THIS ISSUE, BUT SOME DID
AGREE WITH CORBIN
3) Corbin says: The debate really revolves around, not what
Scriptures says or doesn't say, but one's interpretation of what
Scripture says or doesn't say, and one's experience where I felt
no shame in what I particpated in. A movement in the US is now
promoting social nudism among teenagers to eliminate the mystery
of gender nakedness that drive many to premature sex.