The Hypocrisy Of So Called Sacred Sexuality
Our present obsession with "holy" bonking (ooops! soory, Sacred
Sex) has become yet another obsession that borders the absurd.
In our frantic effort to justify why we should have more sex
(with some emotion) in our lives we've managed yet again to
climb to another level of hypocrisy.
As if it is not enough that many people secretly enjoy the
sexual urges within themselves, try kinky stuff, use porn to get
off, drink aphrodisiacs and have a little some-some hidden away
in a drawer somewhere but will not openly admit that they enjoy
sex, now here comes "holy" erotics...
With the new wave of consciousness and spiritual enlightenment
came the "evil" twin. Many of us are having a lot of trouble
telling one from the other. I especially want to caution my
fellow women to be very weary of the SOBs disguised as Sacred
Sex Instructors or Sexual Healers. I am not saying all of the
instructors and healers out there are fakes, but check the
person out thoroughly before you ever think of allowing anyone
to take advantage of your vulnerability. I've worked with women
who've been enticed into all sorts of sexual exploits in the
name of sexual healing, sacred sex or spiritual elevation only
to end up with sexually transmitted diseases and broken hearts.
This is no joke.
One of my clients told me about a holistic healer and sacred sex
instructor who says he has the "gift" of helping women with
infertility, sexual problems and childhood sexual abuse issues
etc. I trained in trauma counselling specializing in childhood
sexual abuse and related adult issues, I had to see this
holistic healer for myself, may be learn a few things from him.
I found the place to be a small downtown hideout with two rooms.
In one, the brother sees clients and from the consultation room
you can see through the open door into the other room which
basically has a tiny bed all decked out in very expensive
"African" themed decor; leopard , zebra, giraffe etc -
stunning!. The "sexual healer" himself is damn good looking; a
dark tall lean angular figure, gorgeous dreadlocks, alert
piercing mystical eyes and set of perfect milk-white teeth
against a coal black gum which makes his smile so mesmerizing.
No wonder he has a stream of female clients - all races. As soon
as I settled down on the mat in front of him, the brother
started telling me all about my "sexual difficulties". Now that
is a real joke, because anyone who knows me also knows that with
me, sex and difficult - they can't belong in the same sentence.
I told the brother, "no problem there". So he started something
about my childhood sexual abuse and stuff. I told him I had
never been abused as I child but he insisted I just don't
remember it and that it was hidden somewhere in my brain. I told
him where I come from child abuse is a curse, a taboo punishable
by death of the person, his family and whole clan -I would have
heard about it if something like that had happened on my
account. He told me it was in my past life - another place and
time - and that this was my fifth time round on earth. Now, I do
not dispute this past lives theory, at least I am honest enough
to say I don't know anything about it but I do not necessarily
care for it either - there is just too much good stuff going on
in this PRESENT life that I have no real need or desire to dig
up buried bones, if there are any. I think the real reason I was
willing to listen for over 15 minutes was because of what the
brother was doing to me in the NOW.
See, the "diagnosis process" involves touching in the places
that can get a woman's heart pumping chaotically - at least a
red blooded woman. After about 10 minutes of his magic touch,
and may be because I had closed my eyes and started day dreaming
- about my boyfriend, he thought he had me because he invited me
to the little bed to get my "treatment". You could have heard a
pin drop in the brief seconds before I went "native", "rural" or
"emotional" whatever you want to call it. All the so called
"civilized" came off like a cheap polyester coat. I let the
brother have it the way we do it in the village, except of
course lifting my dress up and cursing him with my nakedness. I
called him any name I could think of and repeatedly told the
brother to go to "hell" which is where he belongs! I am sure
that brother had never seen anything like that before because he
was cowering in the corner when I left. I was still cursing when
I got onto the street car. Sss-sexual healing my hide!
And there are some others who are running huge sex-trade
operations in the name of holistic centers. Some of these are
run by men in tight skin tight biker shorts pretending to be
"gay" only to end up feeling you up with their sleazy moist
hands, their frontal limp socks giving them away. The lows to
which some people can stoop for free sex!
It will take a level of awareness that Western society hasn't
had, en masse, in past decades for us to make peace with sex and
our sexual nature. Making peace with our sexed being and sexual
desires is not the same as doing whatever we feel like. We do
need to form consensual agreements, respectful communication and
honor rituals that channel sexuality into positive forms if we
are to start healing our unhealthy sexuality.
What is so sad is that we are desecrating the very sacred
traditions we claim are the solution to our passionless and
unfulfilling sexual experiences. Instead of teaching the form of
consciousness that can strike the "the inner mystic chord" of
our sexuality, our western mind is stuck on the same old