Size Matters - More to Men
Sigmund Freud, the father of Psychiatry, said that men had a
sexual thought consciously or subconsciously every 3 seconds. He
timed it like a racehorse when he wasn't busy having sexual
relations with his mother. Psychiatrists go to school for 22
years, subject themselves to years of Psychotherapy, then sit
while you ramble and beg for advice for 45 minutes, only to say
at the end, "What do you think? I'm afraid our time is up for
this week." You could go insane merely from their torture
tactics. Obviously penis size matters to a woman. Penises range
in size from 1' to 14" on men. The longer and wider and harder
the penis, the more friction is created, the deeper the
penetration, and the more likely the woman is to achieve vaginal
orgasm. However other things are more important to a woman, such
as extended foreplay, clitoral stimulation to orgasm, g spot
stimulation to orgasm, and length of time after intercourse
before the man hails a cab, generally anywhere from 5 to 7
minutes on average. Size definitely matters to women, but it
matters far more to men. Penis envy is not a female phenomenon
despite the ravings of the incestuous Dr. Freud. Penis envy is a
male phenomenon. Envying the length and width of the black penis
is at the root of the Klu Klux Klan, says Mariah Carey.
According to research done at Heidelberg University, it is a
scientific fact that the purchases of Corvettes and BMW's are
inversely proportional to the length of a man's penis. Men think
that if they have an expensive fancy car then women will think
that they are financially successful and will date them, leading
other men to think that they are stacked. The basic theme of any
male Rap song and video is always the same. "I am the coolest
most hung baddest dude in town and I can ride you all night
long." This is always backed up by half naked stunning harem
women slithering around the artist. The lack of a white boxing
champion for the past 75 years since Rocky Marciano, has led
white men to flock to seven sequels of the Rocky movie. Rocky is
now coming out of retirement, the "Italian Stallion", for a
rematch against Kanye West, who has been paid 5 million dollars
to take a dive in the fifth, to soothe the wounded egos of male
White America, and that's what it's all about anyway, "Ego". The
Ego is the part of the brain that either says in your mind, "I
am wonderful", or "I am garbage." The "Id" is the part of your
brain that says "I want food, water, sex etc." The Ego is what
causes men to desire multiple partners endlessly through cyber
dating, because once a woman gives in, no matter how beautiful
she is, no matter how loving and caring, she has now lost the
ability to give to the man the thing he wants most to boost his
Ego, that initial conquest, that triggers in the man's mind, "I
am great, I conquered her." Men need this to compensate for
wounded Egos received at the hands of their insecure fathers,
because criticism and control make the father feel great, to
compensate for their own reality, unfulfilled wives due to their
tiny narrow limp phallus. This is the root cause of the male mid
life crisis, leading to divorce and insecure offspring because
the male now needs a young wife the same way that he needs a
Corvette. Have you ever noticed the shape of a Corvette? This
would all be bad enough but size issues are at the root of male
competitiveness in both sports and war. Kim Jong Il, the mini me
leader of North Korea has a stable of gorgeous young blonde
American women, to make up for his tiny thang. "That's all you
got, baby?" Those words led to the swift execution of a one hit
wonder American Diva who was all into the Grace Kelly thing.
This would be bad enough, but the development of nuclear weapons
and the verbal bravado of this midget against the United States
is directly linked to the madman midget's size insecurity.
Ironically midgets are generally very well endowed in proportion
to their body size, and this is why they have such confidence. A
well known self confidence building mantra used extensively by
the Moonies, is "My rooster is huge and hard, and I can ride you
all night long." The problem has become so bad, that erectile
dysfunction has become the third leading growth industry
worldwide, and men are running for medication named after the
enormous gushing of the massive powerful power generating
Niagara Falls, even knowing that it causes a rare but pervasive
form of blindness. Martha Stewart has a solution for this
insecurity problem which is now leading us all into the
Apocalypse, the sudden violent end of all life on Earth forever.
The Christian people are eagerly constructing and waiting for
the Apocalypse, so that when it comes, after about 30 seconds,
they can all say as One, "Look, we were right!" This need to be
right, and this unbearable pain of being wrong, is a direct
result of penis insecurity. Martha's solution is that all men be
forced to wear their bag and their bone on their foreheads, for
all to see, to instantly put an end to all the b/s and bluffing
leading us all into the nuclear inferno. Oprah seconds the
motion. She has the most to lose, according to Dr. Phil, the
bald barking know it all with the 3 inch penis. Our modern Dr.
Freud wears a sock folded in his pants to hide his shortcomings.
Maybe an international naked at work day is the answer for
saving life on earth. Maybe the Apocalypse won't be that bad. At
least it will put an end to the zillions of Erectile Dysfunction
(medications for 1 inch shriveled up things that refuse to stand
up no matter how much kiddy porn the man watches) emails in our
email boxes. How do these snake oil salesmen get our addresses
anyways? Why aren't they all blind yet? The insecurity disease
has now spread to women rushing for breast implants, and to the
male obsession with increasing their Google Page Ranking. Have
you ever noticed the graphic that Sergey Brin and Larry Page use
to display that ranking? They didn't become zillionaires at 32
by being oblivious to the male fixation with size now, did they?