Seductive Aura And Those Who Have It
I recently went to an exclusive singles party. I was there to do
business, and I am not sure what my boyfriend was doing there,
but it was wonderful to have him around - he works in Europe and
is away for extended periods of time. It was a good party; the
music was great, food excellent and the crowd "classy".
Just a little over an hour into the party, I noticed that
everyone was gravitating towards one corner of the room. I could
not immediately see what was happening from where we were
sitting, so I got up to go take a look. Two women, one a white
blonde and the other black were on the dance floor doing their
thing and standing around were what looked like all the good
looking men at the party, except mine of course, who was sitting
in another corner animatedly talking and laughing -he's got me
what can I say...
Anyways, these two women were obviously enjoying themselves and
having the time of their lives. But what I found quite
interesting was that both women were what society would call
"plus size" and not exactly "plus size" model type either. They
were two average looking women laughing and graciously flirting
with the male moths light-struck in their glow. They were
getting all the male attention from the men we would typically
think wouldn't be attracted to women their size especially when
there were many other petite good-looking women in the room.
What was their secret? Two words - SEXUAL MAGNETISM
Whether you know it or not the way you see yourself sexually
affects every aspect of your life. It affects how you walk on
the street, how you talk to your boss, how you respond to
stress, how you relate to others and even how you pursue
success.
People with poor sexual self-image tend to overcompensate in
those areas they are more confident in. They are on a constant
drive for accomplishment and external approval. They often try
to belittle or down play their sexual expectations and have a
tendency to resist acknowledging or expressing their emotions.
The extroverted ones over project and exaggerate their sexual
desirability. They try to assert themselves and their presence
by doing everything in "larger than life" style. But their
"macho" or "sexy" self-image is the opposite of what is
happening on the outside.
People blessed with enormous charm and sexual charisma on the
other hand don't flaunt it with low necklines or ass-hugging
jeans. They may not even have a charismatic personality and are
not necessarily seducers but everywhere they go men and women
fall under the spell of their seductive aura. They attract the
opposite sex like bees to honey. It is simple hard to resist
getting a discreet glance and sometimes we don't even know why.
These people don't seem to age and skin colour or race has no
bearing on the power of their magnetism (I'd gladly rock Nelson
Mandela's or Bill Clinton's world anytime). They kind of command
attention, affection and respect without asking for it. They
look like they are truly happy.
So what is this mystical thing we call sexual magnetism?
Sexual magnetism is often confused with "sexy' or the "exotic" -
whatever these words mean - and because of that many think it is
something you do, something you buy with money, something a
sexual partner gives you or even something you get from travel
to some 'exotic" part of the world.
Sexual magnetism is not about a perfect body, bigger boobs or
bigger male organ. If you do not believe me, tell someone who
thinks they have big boobs or big organ that you do not think it
is that big anyway and watch their self-image take a downward
dive. Not to mention that there are some men and women who are
less-endowed in the looks department but ooze sexual magnetism.
Sexual magnetism is not about what you wear or the kind of car
you drive. Wearing a secret little number underneath your
clothes or driving a sleek car can help boost your sexual
confidence but only when you already have it. Take away the
lingerie (eventually you have to take it off anyway) or the car
and all that is left is the same inadequate insecure small self.
Sexual magnetism is not something you get in Mexico, Thailand or
on an African Safari. I know some of you are thinking who are
you kidding, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got their African
"juju". You can go to these "exotic" places with an uptight,
single-minded and sex repressed attitude and return even more
confused and paranoid because the "sexual openness" you found
there will have rattled your beliefs about sexuality and sex.
Sexual magnetism is not about learning sex techniques or bedroom
tricks - although knowing what to do in the bedroom just like
lingerie or sports car can boost your sexual confidence - it is
not what sexual magnetism is all about. Sexual magnetism is not
even necessarily about sex.
Sexual magnetism is more than sex appeal. People with great
looks, incredible talent, immense power, extreme wealth, above
average intelligence and even the notorious "bad boys" can all
have sex appeal but they are not necessarily sexually confident
and do not necessarily have sexual magnetism. Sexuality is about
overall feelings of wellbeing. From the time we are born to the
time we die, we are sexual beings with sexual bodies whether or
not we are engaged in a sexual act or behaviour. Sexuality is a
natural, healthy, life-long part of being human. It is an
integral and powerful influence on our mental, emotional,
physical and spiritual wellbeing.
Sexual magnetism is about being COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SEXUAL
BODY AND SEXUAL ROLE. It is the dynamic, free and spontaneous
response of your own inner man or woman. It is about power, and
that power comes from knowing who you really are, what's right
for you and what you can bring to any encounter whether it be
sexual, social or business.
Sexual magnetism is about being COMFORTABLE AROUND THE OPPOSITE
SEX. It is about walking into any situation knowing that you
'rock", voicing your opinion knowing that it will be highly
valued by others, asking for what you want without fear of
rejection or failure. It is the ability to truly let go and
experience life full. It is about being fully present body, mind
and spirit - moment to moment.
Sexual charisma is like a MAGNET. If you've got it, you'll draw
people to you. So how does one get sexual charisma?
DEVELOP A SEX-POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Unlearn your guilt about your sexual body and sexual desires.
Give yourself the permission to really celebrate what you have
inside of yourself and develop the emotional and social skills
you need to be able to share your real self with your sexual
partner and with the rest of the world.
KNOW YOUR SEXUAL BODY
The greatest knowledge you can have when it comes to sexuality
is how your body responds to its sexual, social or business
environment. If you've been living in your head, get back into
your body and fully inhabit it. It is not what the body can do
for you but what you can do with the body that gives you the
sexual magnetism you long for.
DEVELOP YOUR OWN INDIVIDUAL STYLE
Your sexual magnetism is a unique, individualized expression of
self. Knowing that you're uniquely and wonderfully created is
saying, "I like who I am and I know you will like me too".
Develop the kind of attitude that get people all excited just
thinking of talking to you or getting to see you again.
BE SPONTANEOUS AND UNPREDICTABLE
Spontaneity and unpredictability are the soul of sexual charisma
and it's what keeps other people fascinated by you. Work on
developing spontaneity in your emotional manifestations by
taking actions in each moment driven by your inner awareness.
Let go of contriving, scheming, pretense and living in
self-distrust. Tap into your subconscious and set your
imagination free. Let your hair down and discover your wild side.
LEARN TO ENJOY LIFE
Many of us are too rushed to enjoy life, too confused to be
simple, too rich to have enough, too worried to be healthy, too
ungrateful to be happy, too afraid to love, and too controlling
to be free. Your sexual magnetism depends on your ability to let
go and be in the moment. But in order to enjoy the moment you
have to learn to appreciate it. Develop an attitude of
thankfulness inspite or despite of your current circumstances.
BECOME INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE
Sexual magnetism is not about a superior attitude or blowing
your own horn, it is about listening and making other people
comfortable talking about themselves. Work on being someone who
is interested rather than worry about being interesting.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD FRIENDS
There are few things in this world that can make you feel like a
million bucks - a good friend is one of those things. A good
friend is that person who gives you the courage and strength to
get out there and conquer the world. Cultivate lots of different
friendships with both men and women - especially single ones.
Having lots of friends of the opposite sex is a great way to
learn about the opposite sex, it's better than anything you read
in books which are only other people's opinions.
ENHANCE YOUR SPIRITUAL AWARENESS
The journey towards your sexual embodiment is also the journey
towards your spiritual enlightenment. Sex and Spirit are
inseparable. Do not concentrate on developing one and ignore the
other. When you neglect one, the other will be distorted.
Begin vibrating this powerful magnetic energy and watch how
people suddenly begin noticing and gravitating towards you.