Things to Think about for Beginning to Swing
Let's put aside those fantasies for a moment, and talk about the
logistics of beginning the adventure of swinging. And I know you
have many--fantasies that is.
First of all, why are you getting into swinging? Are you looking
for a little sex on the side of your relationship? If you are,
you may be disappointed in the long run. Swinging is so much
more than a cheap thrill.
This isn't a way to have sex with more people, but a way to
safely live out some fantasies with someone that you love. So,
stop and think about this good and hard before you try it out.
Experience does count
You want to talk with other swingers to see how the lifestyle
actually is. Chances are that you'll hear about all of the
positive aspects, but also the real life consequences.
You can either check out the local swingers club or sign up
online with an online dating resource to ask questions or read
their advice. There are hundreds of books that you could
purchase and read as well. This isn't something to go into
lightly.
It's fun, no doubt, but having real expectations will make it
even better for you, your partner, and everyone else involved.
And you can have so much fun looking into it. Turn down the
lights and use your imagination...
Are you strong enough?
How's your current relationship? If you're on your own, how's
your mental state? What is your reason for trying swinging? Are
you having problems and think that trying something new will
help? Wrong answer.
If you already have problems--either on your own or in a
relationship-- trying out swinging, then you may actually
multiply the problems that you have. If jealousy is a tiny
problem in your relationship, then swinging will only magnify
it. If you can't communicate with your partner, then you may not
be able to say what you want or how you're feeling about
something that you've done or want to do. And the distance
between you will only grow.
You need to have a strong commitment to yourself and your needs,
as well as be able to talk things out as they come up.
Safety is key
Just because you're ready to swing and think that everything and
everyone is safe, you are wrong. You have to be ready to discuss
sexually transmitted diseases and how you're going to protect
yourself and others. Have yourself tested and talk about what
kinds of protection you will use. I know that this isn't a very
sexy topic, but neither is AIDS and everything else out there.
If you are uncomfortable talking about protection, then you
aren't ready to swing. When you involve another person, you have
to be considerate of their health, as well as your own.
When you're thinking about swinging, approach it like you would
any other big decision. You wouldn't buy a car without looking
at the details and the price, so why barter your body and your
fantasies any differently?