Is Swinging for me?

I read an article a while back written by a relationship advisor, a Dear Abby sort, who said that swinging was an awful thing without fail - because they had never heard from anyone who had a good experience as a swinger. With all due respect, people who are enjoying swinging, won't be writing a relationship advisor for advice! Duh. Swinging is not for everyone. Swinging will not save your marriage. It is only a slightly lesser mistake than having a baby to save the marriage. In other words, just stupid. In fact, if you have a bad marriage, swinging will most likely be the final straw that ends it, as each partner finds another person who makes him or her happier. Many men visualize swinging as their opportunity to have a whole lot of different female sexual partners, with their wives consent. The unbearable truth for these men, is that they will discover it is far easier for their wife to find numerous male partners eager to share her charms, while the husband may find few if any females as eager to forgive him his beer gut, and bald head, as his wife does. A couple should not undertake swinging unless both partners are willing, even eager. Both partners not just one. No one should "just go along". The results can be heart breaking, demeaning, or worse. If only one partner wants to swing, forget it. If you are a single, I strongly advise you to avoid any couples where it is clear one partner is just being dragged along. You don't need the drama, and drama is guaranteed! So now that I have warned you in so many different ways, let me tell you that if you and your partner have a strong relationship and think it will be fun to share each other in a sexual way with other singles or couples, it probably will be fun. And I don't necessarily mean only traditional married couples with great marriages, but couples who are more casually involved with each other who have fun together sexually, and also enjoy other people and/or group sex. If you are a single man, be sure before involving yourself with a couple that you and the other man are both bisexual or both straight but comfortable in bed with another man or watching another man have sex with the woman involved. As a single woman, before accepting the approach of a couple, make sure the woman is equally interested in you as the man is if she is bisexual, or comfortable watching you with her man if she is not. Couples who want to trade wives, or any of the other many permutations of swinging, the main thing, always, is to be sure everyone knows if anyone has an inhibition of any sort, and that everyone understands what is allowed and what is not. If any of the "rules" that make a participant comfortable seems asinine to you - then don't get involved with them. The main thing you should be able to accept if you want to swing is that sex is not equivalent to love or emotional attachment. Sex is more like a fun sport that many people may participate in, in many ways. If you cannot look at sex in that way - do not swing. Chances are, you will have some partners you become very fond of who become a part of your life, others you may only have sex with, and others you may decide you don't enjoy and don't wish to have sex with again. So what if you just read this and you are thinking about it, how to start? There are many ways to get started, or to find out more. If you are still unsure, perhaps you could explore swinging by looking at porn sites that show threesomes or group sex and see if those pictures, videos, or stories turn you on. Perhaps you will decide that is exciting, but as far as you want to go, and that's just fine, too. If you decide you want to meet some real swingers in your own area I strongly suggest joining Adult Friend Finders. This gives you ample opportunity to meet a number of swingers in your area, visit online, and set your first meeting in a neutral zone like a restaurant. Your local swingers will be able to tell you if there are any swingers clubs, or groups who meet in your area as well. You might even discover swinging cybersex in their chat rooms is quite sufficient for you and as far as you wish to go. A less satisfactory method, to me, is to check out a local adult bookstore. Often you will find swingers magazines for sale that feature ads for clubs, groups, and couples and singles personals. Whatever your decisions - please remember sex, and swinging, is supposed to be fun!