The Joys Of Self-Pleasure!
Manually pleasuring yourself should be as natural as sex itself.
And, while many people are embarrassed by it, you really
shouldn't be. O.k., maybe you don't want to broadcast it to your
neighbors, friends, and family, but between you and your lover
it doesn't have to be a secret. Masturbation actually does serve
a purpose. Besides your own enjoyment, it also teaches you what
feels good, and where it feels good. It teaches you how to relax
during a sexual encounter in order to have better or more
orgasms. These lessons you learn can then be verbalized to your
lover during sex for an even better sexual experience. Simply
put, you've learned where it feels good when you do it, now tell
him so he can make you feel good.
Remember that pleasuring yourself is not about how many times
you come to an orgasm. Or even whether you orgasm at all. It's
about pleasing yourself, making you feel good like no one else
can. While orgasms are great, they really just indicate the
highest point of pleasure during sexual arousal. There are many,
many points in between that are immensely pleasurable. There is
nothing wrong with you if you do not have an orgasm. Concentrate
on how good you can make yourself feel. Generally over time, you
will learn what and where feels best and how to bring yourself
to orgasm. But don't let that be the focus of masturbation, just
enjoy the feelings.
Try arranging some alone time. Go some where you won't be
bothered. Make sure you have some time available to you so you
can relax and enjoy yourself. If you can, lock the door so you
won't be disturbed, if not make sure you request that this time
be your alone time. Having a family can make alone time hard to
get, try requesting bath time once per week. This will be your
alone time to relax and get away from the every day stresses. If
you're new to pleasuring yourself, or just looking to get more
out of it try creating some ambience. Bring a cassette or cd
player with you to listen to soft music. Purchase a few scented
candles. The fragrance lavender is known for it's relaxation
properties. Then relax and enjoy your time alone with yourself.
Enjoy the soft music, and the scent and glow of the candles.
Don't rush, start off slow and easy. You know where to touch to
make you feel good, don't be embarrassed, just go with it.
Enjoy!
Marie Clare Relationship Consultant & Author