Mindfulness and Being Gay: On Sexuality and Happiness
When I was growing up in the tiny town of Gaston, Oregon
(population: 325), there was a week-long festival in the "big"
town of Forest Grove six miles away.
It was called the "Gay Nineties" and featured a parade with
townspeople wearing clothing from the late 1800s. There was
plenty of ice cream, a petting zoo, an imported carnival in the
shopping center parking lot, and a dunking booth populated by
local teachers and business owners.
Back in the 70s, this was seen as the highlight of the year for
kids in my town. Sure, we had the Gaston Good 'Ol Days parade,
and we were guaranteed a spot by simply showing up with our
favorite farm animal, but it was not nearly as elaborate as the
Gay Nineties. After all, Forest Grove had over 10,000 people, so
their events were much more exciting than ours. They had a
marching band and a queen!
I went out of state to attend college in 1978, traveled around
the world during my senior year in 1982, and when I came back to
Gaston for a visit after graduation, I wasn't too surprised to
learn that the Gay Nineties had been discontinued. You see,
"gay" was no longer a word that meant "happy"--it was a word
that meant homosexual. Gay Nineties was no longer considered an
appropriate name for a town's annual festival.
I moved to Japan, met my wonderful husband-to-be, and after our
wedding, we spent time in Palm Springs. My aunt Linda, a
divorcee, lived in a charming cottage there and gave us the
scoop on her new city. Unimpressed by the pool of eligible
males, she told us that Palm Springs was referred to as the Gay
Nineties--because all the men were either gay or in their
nineties!
In 1988, my half-brother Dennis, a brilliant ex-Foreign Service
official and executive director of an international business
council, called to tell me that he had been fired by the board
for marching in Chicago