The Day My Uptown Girl Went Kinky On Me
It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, we had just taken a
stroll through Central Park, and were now headed to our favorite
Cafe. But today, my Uptown Girl had a most peculiar, and devious
look in her eyes.
I leaned over from my latte and told her that her eyes seemed to
be thinking about something.
She replied, "yes, you are right as usual. I'm trying to
remember if there is a hardware store somewhere around here."
I said, "there is a hardware store about 15 blocks away."
She gasped, "15 blocks. Are you sure there is nothing closer?"
I laughed and said, "as the Uptown rents keep climbing, the
hardware stores just keep getting further and further away."
She said, "15 blocks. After that I will reward myself with
something high in calories."
We finished our latte and headed to the hardware store.
I asked, "what do you need to buy?"
She replied, "clothes line and a very sharp pair of scissors."
When we got to the hardware store, she found the clothes line
and scissors, and I went to hand her a pulley with that.
She said, "oh, why would I need a pulley?"
I put the pulley back and thought to myself, "how strange that
someone would buy a clothes line without a pulley. But then
again, she's from Uptown and maybe they don't use pulleys."
Something didn't quite fit. She had a very good dryer, so I just
couldn't figure why she would need a clothes line. But I was
starting to tire from the walk and the partying the night before.
I just felt like taking a little knap. We got back to her
apartment and had a few glasses of wine while listening to some
soothing tapes. I felt very tranquil and started to close my
eyes.
She said, "you look tired. Come and lay down on the bed."
I asked, "do you mind?"
She said, "no, no problem. I'm tired to. I will join you in a
while. I just have something to do first."
I noticed she had the windows wide open again, so, I took
everything off but my shorts and pulled the covers over me.
Just as I started to dose I felt her hand shake me. She said,
"take these two vitamins and when you wake up you'll feel
better."
I said honey, "you know I never take vitamins."
She said. "do it for me."
She handed me a class of water and placed the pills in my mouth.
I said "okay. Just for you."
I fell into a deep sound sleep and didn't awaken again, until I
felt the cold night air blowing on my chest.
I thought, "she must have knocked the covers off me, as she had
so many times before."
I went to reach for the covers, but my hands could not move.
I opened my eyes, and found that my arms and legs were tied to
the bed posts. I looked over and noticed her sound asleep beside
me. I called her name and she started to wake.
She asked, "why are you waking me?"
I replied. "why I'm all tied up?"
She laughed and said, "oh that."
I said, "yes, oh that."
She replied, "you weren't supposed to wake up yet. Karen said
those sleeping pills would knock you out for the whole night."
I said, "sleeping pills. I thought they were vitamins."
She laughed and said, "vitamins to make you sleep so I could tie
you up and then do naughty things to you."
I said, "I woke up because I was freezing from all that cold air
coming through the open window. And what naughty things are you
planning to do to me?"
She threw the cover over me, and said, "go back to sleep. You'll
find out in the morning how naughty I will be."
I went back to sleep and I didn't wake up again until I heard
the sound of an electric razor.
I opened my eyes and saw her standing over me with the electric
razor. I asked, "why am I tied up? And what are you doing with
that electric razor?"
She laughed, and said, "this is all part of the surprise I've
been planning for you."
I laughed and said, "you mean, you really didn't buy that rope
for a clothes line."
She laughed, and said, "oh, you're so perceptive."
Then she smiled and said. "you're always pleasuring me. I just
wanted you to have 100% pleasure for a change, and I knew if you
weren't tied up, you wouldn't let me go all the way through with
my plans."
I laughed, and said, "plans, what do you mean plans?"
She licked her lips seductively and said, "I've been thinking
about this all week." I wanted to do something special for you
for Valentines Day. Then I thought, I would do something that
you would never do for yourself."
I said, "so you tied me up with the clothes line. Thats my
Valentines Day surprise. I get it now, thats what you were
whispering about to Karen on the telephone, and silly me, I just
thought it was girl talk. So what other surprises did you and
Karen plot together for me?"
She laughed and said, "you have no idea what sort of surprises I
have in store for you."
Then she came toward me with the electric razor. I said, "let me
guess. You want to give me a haircut for a surprise."
She said, "a haircut yes. But not the kind of haircut that you
would ever want."
Then she pointed the electric razor at my chest. I asked. "why
are you pointing the electric razor at my chest?"
She said, "I'm going to do something I know you would never do."
I asked, "whats that?"
She said. "I'm going to shave your chest."
I said, "oh no your not," confident that I could break free of
the rope.
But I was tied more tighly than I had imagined. I couldn't even
budge. I asked. "how did you know how to tie a rope so good?"
She smiled and said, "I once was a girl scout."
Then I said, "well, will you be a nice girl scout and kindly
untie me now?"
She laughed and said, "no way," as she moved the electric razor
closer to my chest.
I said honey, "wait. Just wait. Let me explain this to you. Only
weight lifters shave their chests."
But as I pleaded I felt the electric razor moving up my stomach.
I pulled at the rope to get free, but it was futile.
I said, "please, don't." But the electric razor continued to run
up my stomach.
Then I asked, "at least don't shave any further than my stomach."
She just laughed and said, "see, this is why I had to tie you
up."
As I pulled again at the rope, she moved the electric razor up
to my chest.
As I said, "no honey not my chest," I could feel the electric
razor now advance up my chest.
She kept mowing up and down my chest with the electric razor
until every last hair was gone. She then brushed the hair off
with a damp towel. She smiled as if she had just won a prize and
reached for a can of whip cream, and started to shake it with
vigor.
I asked, "now, what are you going to do with that whip cream."
But she wouldn't answer and just kept shaking the can. She
pointed the can at my now hairless chest and sprayed the whip
cream all over me, and started rubing it all up and down my
chest with her hands. She then climbed over me and started
licking all the whip cream up with her tongue.
I was surprised, but with my newly mowed chest, I felt a
tremendous arousal with each tongue stroke.
I told her, "I have to admit it. I'm feeling a nice sensation."
She said, "I've just barley started yet."
And then she moved her tongue deep inside my mouth, as I felt
her hands running up and down my chest.
I told her that everything was great now and said, "lets call it
a day."
She said, "I'm not finished yet," as her tongue now moved to my
ear.
First, she tongued and blew in one ear and then the other ear.
Then she got up and pulled something out of her night table
draw. It was the extra sharp scissor, she had bought at the
hardware store.
I said. "good. You're going to cut the rope off me at last."
She smiled and said, "I'm going to cut something off, but not
the rope."
I said, "oh come on honey. Enough already."
She laughed and said, "not yet."
I said, "okay. What did you and Karen plan to do with the
scissor when this plot was hatched?"
She said, "the plan. Sorry, but I have to cut your shorts off."
I said, "you're going to ruin a perfectly good pair of shorts."
She said, "I don't want to untie you yet. And cutting your
shorts off is the only other way I can give you your surprise."
As I started to say, "you are kidding right,?" she moved the
scissors up the side of my shorts, and cut them away, and then
slid them off me.
Then she pointed the can of whip cream, where the shorts had
just been and sprayed.
I yelled, "oh honey. that feels cold."
She smiled and said, "you won't feel cold there for long."
Then she started to lick up all the whip cream with her tongue.
She licked and licked and while she licked her hands were
running all up and down my waist and thighs. My body started to
shake with excitement, but the rope kept a firm grip on me.
Then with every inch of my body tingling, she climbed on top of
me. It was Rocket Ships and the Forth Of July fireworks.
She asked, "did you enjoy your surprise honey?"
As she untied me, I replied. "Oh yes, I enjoyed my surprise. Oh,
did I ever enjoy my surprise."