Anal Sex part-2
This is part-2 of this series called Anal Sex
Making Contact Now you've made contact. If it feels good there
or if you sense that it will, keep exploring. Don't push
yourself to do more than you want at any one time - pace
yourself comfortably. But try to tune in on your rear; discover
when it's tight and when it's loose, and how you can control
this. At some point you'll want to take the plunge, inserting a
finger inside. It's a remarkable discovery, that you can do
this, and opens up a world of new sensations. Be aware that the
rectum is a sturdy, flexible organ and can't be hurt by fingers,
a penis or other similar objects, unless you violently intend to
do so. If you don't make your finger force your ass, or your ass
force your finger, they will work well together. Sharp edges
like fingernails can scratch it, and that's not good, to trim
your nail a little first. But if it can take all your excrement
it can take smaller things like fingers and cocks. Usually
there's nothing inside the end-part of the rectum; but sometimes
there might be small particles. You'll discover that these are
harmless and easily washed off after. Or you can clean out your
rectum first, douching with an enema bottle and warm water. Now,
I suggest you lie back on your bed (or wherever), and bend your
legs to bring your feet up close to your rear. Get into an
enjoyable masturbation with one hand, and grease a finger of the
other with KY or another lubricant. Then place it at your anus,
and push very gently, slowly. Your finger will go in just a
little. If you want to get your finger in farther, you must keep
pushing gently and firmly, and release the anus muscle. Then you
will feel your finger go all the way through, past the thick
muscle and into the soft, quiet rectum. It may feel
uncomfortable at first, because you've taught yourself to regard
anything in the rectum as dark and dirty, and you'll want to
push it out. But take it easy; try letting your finger rest
there as you're masturbating. You may feel a little burning or
irritation, but this will turn to pleasure if your masturbation
is feeling good. If you like, climax with your finger inside,
and see how it feels. If all this seems good to you, keep up the
exploration. If it bothers you, withdraw and try again later,
take your time. Loosening Up Now you'll want to learn to loosen
it enough to let in larger sized objects. It may seem at first
like your anus has a separate personality, doing things in its
own way. But this is only because you've separated it in your
mind. If you get to know it better, it'll eventually make
friends with you, and the separation will disappear. After using
your finger to meet it, get to know your anus more intimately.
You can trace warm wet rings around the outside of the anus.
After inserting a finger you can massage it, pressing outward in
a circle, tensing and calming it, trying to curl your finger
around its side, feeling its touch through the skin. While
exploring, if you act like you're shitting, pushing out, this
will help even more. Practice stretching and tensing/calming
your anus around your finger; you want to do this until it can
be widened easily and painlessly. Next you can insert two (or
more) fingers, seeing how far you can bend them apart. Later,
you might want to try a dildo (a straight, smooth, round tipped
object like those found in sex shops). It's a good idea to use
something that won't break, such as plastic or rubber. Glass
objects can sometimes shatter. You could use a candle but there
is the risk of it breaking and leaving half stuck inside, so be
careful. Otherwise feel free to indulge, since you can only hurt
your rectum with sharp objects or violent jabbing motions.
Experimenting With Your Partner You might want to move right on
to experimenting with your partner. And this is also another way
to learn about your ass. Say to him "I'd sure like to enjoy anal
pleasures, but I'm not used to it and a little afraid," Then
your partner can turn you on. He can place his fingers at your
anus during sex. He can, if he likes, suck and tongue your anus,
or insert his finger(s). These are called analingus and
postillioning, and can be soothing, warm, and exciting. A nice
thing is for your partner to masturbate you as his finger is
inserted in your rectum. If neither of you can get this far,
because your anus just won't relax, it means you're anxious or
you simply don't know how to relax it yet. This is not always
the easiest thing to learn, and there's no reason to feel bad
about it, since the anus is very likely to just follow old
habits of not opening up. It takes time. Take risks only when
you really feel safe, and don't allow yourself to be forced
open. It helps to talk about this, and how you're feeling. One
especially nice act that can relax your rear is for your
partner, during sex, to simply trace soft rings around the
opening, pressing with one or two lubricated fingertips, going
around and around. This usually has a calming effect. If, after
much gentle trying over a period of time, your anus just won't
loosen, I would suggest you might have a mental wish not to be
entered that you aren't aware of. If this might be the case,
explore the possibility in your mind and with your partner. You
may want to see a counselor or sex therapist, or you may decide
that anal intercourse just isn't for you. If you do progress in
your explorations, the time will come for your partner to insert
his penis. If this is what you both want, let it happen, as it
will, without planning on doing it. Be easy about it, trying one
of the positions I've described. It may take several (or many)
tries, so relax and feel the sensations. If it hurts, and it
might, just ask him to withdraw gently. Some pain may happen,
and this is usually OK. If it's a strong or sharp pain, back
off. You will discover that the mild pain turns to blissful
delight during sex. As he enters, you may experience a violent
urge to go to the bathroom, or you may imagine you're going to
piss or shit right there. This is a fantasy of your mind and
body, through lack of use and conditioning; if you respect these
feelings and have patience, they will change through practice.
Also, if you're sexually excited these feelings and any
tightness will lessen considerably. The best rule is to take it
in steps, going easy and smooth. It may seem difficult for a
while, but you may be surprised by a rapid change from
discomfort to sweet pleasure.
This is part-2 of this series called Anal Sex
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