Meet a Girl or Guy You Can Bring Home to Mother

If you're a single man or woman looking for romance (and with a quality individual who won't scare your family), here's a tip to heat up your winter: Get out of the house. Give me a break, you say. I get out of the house. I go to work every day. I haven't met anybody decent since 2001. But if you're doing the same thing day in and day out, chances are you're running to all the same people day in and day out. So, you're in a rut. To break out, you must shake up your routine a bit. Here's an example: My very good friend (we'll call her Daisy) has pretty much had to give up her career to take care of her housebound parents. The last man she dated was an insurance representative who showed up in her house for an appointment. And that was a couple of years ago. Daisy is attractive, smart, caring, and has qualities that would make her an excellent wife or girlfriend, but her opportunities for meeting men are decidedly limited. Recently, she signed up for a caregiver's class through the adult education department at a community college. She didn't plan to meet any men there, and she didn't. But she did make a new friend, who had a boyfriend, who had a single friend (do you see where I'm going with this?). Daisy and the single friend went out on several dates. She liked the guy, but decided he wasn't for her. So is this a failure? Not by a long shot. "It proved to me that there are some great single guys out there, and I have plenty to offer them. I just have to expand my social horizons a bit, and I'll meet the right one. I'm sure of it." Here's another story: After finding out that his longtime girlfriend was cheating on him, my husband's friend broke up with the girl and gave himself time to heal. Then he joined a cooking class and the Adirondacks Club. "I love to cook," he told me, "and I love to hike. I'm bound to meet women, too." He was right. While he didn't meet "the one" through either activity, he did meet some new people, which led him to throw a party to show off his new cooking skills. He invited new friends and old friends, encouraged them to bring friends, and sure enough, the woman he married two years ago was among them. The big benefit of meeting an eligible single through a friend or an acquaintance is that they come with a seal of approval. If your friend likes him or her, chances are the person doesn't moonlight as a serial killer. A recent story in the Connecticut Post described how one smart woman set out to meet her spouse. She joined Mensa, the organization for people with sky-high IQs. Sure enough, she met her dream man there and is now happily married to him. So, what about you? Want to learn to ski, fix a slipped transmission, or knit a great Aran sweater? Go for it. Take a class. If you don't meet people of the opposite sex, you're bound to make an acquaintance who at least knows (and likes) an eligible person of the opposite sex! Repitition is key, so while one-day seminars are great, a class that meets for four weeks or more is better. You'll have a better chance of making a friend that way (and showing what a great catch you'd make for his or her single brother, sister, or office mate)! The same thing goes for bars. If you like sports, find a bar with a crowd you like (different bars attract different types), bring a pal, and become a friendly face there. Smile at the bartender (you don't necessarily want to date him or her, but you do want to make an ally) and tip well. Show up often. Get to know the regulars and make a friend or two. Look pleasant, have fun, and don't get wasted. Every new friend you make is a stepping stone to the love you deserve. It's out there. Now go for it!