Top 10 Tips for Phenomenal Sex
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Top Ten Tips For Phenomenal Sex by Cynthia Perkins
1. Communicate Communication with your lover is "the" most
important factor for not only a satisfying sexual relationship
but for a relationship in general. If you do not communicate
with your partner you can't be satisfied. Many people falsely
believe that their lover can read their mind or that they should
instinctively know how to please them. This is a very
destructive belief for not only the sex, but also the
relationship as a whole. Speak openly, directly and honestly. Be
specific. Tell your partner where, when and how to touch you.
Describe how much pressure, how much speed and the timing you
need. Tell them what, when and how to say what you need to hear
etc. Let them know when it feels good and when it doesn't. Good
communication involves the expression of feelings. Discuss your
feelings, needs, desires, fears, embarrassments, expectations in
and out of the bedroom in regard to all aspects of the
relationship. Good communication will increase intimacy and
greater intimacy will lead to greater sex.
2. Be an Unselfish Lover Be a selfless lover (meaning your goal
is your pure desire to give your partner the pleasure they
desire.) Don't take each other for granted, which is easy to do
if you have been together for a while and will kill your
passion. Don't pleasure your lover according to what feels good
for you, give them what you know they enjoy. Always tend to your
partners needs as well as your own and you will be considered a
good lover. Spend one lovemaking session devoted entirely to
your lover. Make them feel special and cherished. Express your
love and appreciation freely and frequently outside of the
bedroom as well as inside the bedroom. Don't assume your lover
knows how you feel. It needs to be verbalized. Say I love you or
you are so beautiful, or you feel so good. Everyone wants to
feel loved, valued and appreciated. Remember that what occurs
outside the bedroom greatly impacts what will occur in the bed.
3. Seek Variety As the saying goes "Variety is the spice of
Life", and boredom is one of the main causes of unfaithfulness.
If you keep a lot of variety in your positions and activities,
you will never be bored. There are numerous books and videos
that can give you new suggestions or be creative and use your
imagination. Try having sex in different places of the house or
in a bathroom at the gas station, restaurant or some other place
that is very exciting for you where you won't get caught. Take a
shower with your lover and use your hands as the washrag. Soap
them up and explore every inch, nook and cranny of their body.
Savor them as if they were a fine a wine. This will elicit
erotic, sensual, spiritual and physical energy in both of you
and will also serve as a tool to help you learn invaluable
information about one another's bodies. Get naked outside and
make wild passionate love. I don't believe there is anything
more freeing, arousing and spiritual than being naked outside
and to make love with the feel of the elements upon your body.
It gets you in touch with the primal basics and elicits
uninhibited passions. Do things that are unique for you as a
couple and you can keep the variety and spice while remaining a
monogamous couple. Change your routine.
4. Be Spontaneous and Adventurous Surprise your lover with
something unusual and kinky. Yes Kinky! Be outrageous and
adventurous. Show up at their work for lunch naked under your
coat and flash them. Send them an invitation to a hotel for a
hot night of sex. Role play one of your fantasies. Tell them you
must have them at some unusual spot and take them passionately.
Women, try not wearing your panties and bra and go through your
daily activities. Not having a bra and panties on is very
stimulating and will make you feel very sexy and erotic. Tell
your partner that you aren't wearing any and you will drive them
absolutely wild with the thought of it.
5. Be Present in the Here and Now. Fully experience each touch,
sensation, smell, movement, sound and taste while you are making
love. Don't allow your mind to slip into thoughts about work,
children or fixing dinner etc. Stay completely focused on your
partner and your experience. Allow yourself to become totally
immersed in the pleasurable sensations you are giving and
receiving.
6. Know Your Own Body and Desires If you don't know what excites
you and pleases you, then your lover can't either. Explore your
own body and discover what you like and don't like. Find out
what arouses you and makes you roar. Make love with yourself.
You can really drive your lover wild by allowing them to watch
you pleasure yourself.
7. Make Sex a Priority Relationships are the most important
aspect of our lives and sex is a crucial component of your
intimate relationship. Make time for lovemaking. Don't push it
off. It should be one of the biggest priorities in your life.
When sex is pushed aside desire and passion will dwindle. The
more you engage in sex the more your desire will grow.
8. Pursue Your Lover with Unbridled Passion It is a great
aphrodisiac for both female and male to see and feel desire and
passion in their lover's eyes and actions. Let your lover know
how deeply you want them. Tear their clothes off and take them
passionately. Let them hear you delight in them. When making
love, tell them how much you enjoy their body or how good they
feel to you. Let loose with total abandon.
9. Know Your Partner's Hot Zones Taking the time to learn what
makes your lovers motor run is one of the most important
ingredients for great sex. You can never know your lover too
much. Pay attention to when and what your lover responds to and
learn what they need. Store it in your mind and be sure to use
it frequently. When your lover is pleasured and satisfied then
they want to reciprocate and please you even more, and thus
sexual satisfaction is heightened for both partners. When you
know how to please your lover, their desire for you increases
and they will want sex more often. Knowing your partner and
making a point to please them is an act of love; it shows them
they are important to you and that you care about their needs.
You should know your lovers love buttons like the back of your
hand.
10. Be an Oral Connoisseur Being a skilled oral lover is a very
important component of a couple's sexual relationship for both
the male and the female. There are few things more pleasurable
for either man or woman than to be savored, devoured and
satisfied orally by their lover. It is one of the most intimate
gifts we can give one another. Pleasuring your lover orally has
become an integral part of lovemaking. One of the great aspects
of oral sex is that it can be a part of foreplay or the main
course and there are so many ways to explore it. Giving oral
pleasure to your lover is an ultimate act of unselfishness,
giving, caring and loving.