Some Essential Dating Advice For Men
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"Some Essential Dating Advice For Men"
-- by Mike Pilinski --
(c) 2003 Kipling Kat Publishing Co. -- All Rights Reserved
http://www.highstatusmale.com
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If you're a single guy still looking for your dream POA (piece
of a**), I'm sure you've absorbed lots of advice on how best to
meet and date women by now. A lot of it is "common sensical" as
you well know. Therefore, assuming you know enough not to show
up on a first date looking like you just combed your hair with
an M-80 or wearing cowboy boots and shorts, maybe a few of the
following ideas can give you just enough of an edge to make the
difference between Date #2 with an exciting little fox -- and a
date with ol' Rosie Palm instead. Check these out :
1 ) Don't Try To Act Like A Fake On The First Date
A woman often makes a far more profound emotional investment
into a relationship than a man does. So for her, TRUST is an
immensely important issue. Dating is not just a convenient way
to get her rocks off, it's a case study in the male psyche. Can
she trust you to ever be a good future father? Don't laugh,
unless she's middle-aged and well beyond the kids & husband
phase of her life, this "mating calculus" is ALWAYS running
somewhere in the back of her mind.
Acting like a phoney with an obviously fake 'come-on'
personality only demonstrates how easily you are willing to
embrace deception in order to get something you want. To any
woman other than the sad exception of the chick who's looking
for another loser for her next AA reclamation project (maybe 10%
to 15% of the female population), you are TOTAL POISON. A
potential cheater and heartbreaker just waiting for his next
victim to arrive. She may dump you right away, OR depending on
the depth of her general bitterness towards men, keep you around
to engage in a little recreational tease and torturing if she's
got a vendetta to settle with a guy like you. Beware!
2 ) Create New Memories Instead Of Swapping Them
Here's the very best dating advice I can ever give anyone: in
order to make any date memorable and fun, spend 90% of your
activities in the present moment.
It's easy to get caught up in the "talking trap" on a date --
where the two of you sit around and get lost in deeper and
deeper conversation. These 'chatting dates' can slip out of
control and become subtle passion-killers though, especially if
you're not careful to keep the big picture in focus. Before you
know it, you're spilling your guts about Father Hamhands from
your altar boy days or waxing poetic about your hemorrhoids and
how they love to swell up in the springtime. Yeesh. As Joey from
the TV show Friends once scolded his buddy Chandler, "... ok,
that's TOO MUCH information!..."
For a seduction to go off like a thing of beauty, you must
reveal yourself SLOWLY -- bit-by-bit -- as you gradually come to
know her. Think of dating as an emotional veil dance... a
striptease -- the point of which is to make her anticipate when
the next Veil of Male Mystery will come off! This is the kind of
thing she's been DREAMING about all her life. Why? Because it
makes everything that's to follow (including the sex) all that
much more delicious for her.
So put ACTION ahead of endless yakking. Stay active on a date
(it doesn't have to be an extreme sport-fest or anything, just
visiting a flea market will do...) so that you are BUILDING a
memory with her instead of SHARING one. Focus on having
experiences with her that the two of you can reminisce about
some day in the future -- instead of spending time caught up in
a lot of drawn-out amateur psychotherapy sessions in a bar
somewhere. Conversation is very important in any new
relationship, and is the pathway to her eventual sexual
surrender, but you must provide her with a REASON to want to
know so much about you *FIRST* before opening your soul. Never
forget the importance of your veil dance.
3 ) Don't Be A Bore
A boring person is anti-charismatic -- which is to say that,
instead of making people feel GOOD about themselves by acting
interested in them, the boring person makes us want to run away
screaming from the agony of having to listen to another second
of his self-absorbed droning!
The point of conversation should always be focused on drawing
HER interests out instead of dwelling on your own (but don't
come across like a ruthless Nazi interrogator -- go easy on the
unbroken string of questions). Share a little -- but keep YOUR
interests lost in the background. Her response to a few casual
queries about her life or current dreams holds clues to your
*LifeLine*. Cling to it tightly and work on expanding its scope.
Submerge your own ego for the first few dates. Don't worry, when
you finally hook her she'll begin questioning you intently...
maybe TOO intently! But that probably won't happen until after
you've had sex. (Then get ready for the onslaught!)
4 ) Forget About Trying To Act "Like Yourself"
The standard dating advice of "being yourself" or "acting like
yourself" (whatever the hell that means) is pure "Oprah-istic"
B.S.
Learn to strike a balance between coming on like a phoney-
baloney (which we talked about earlier), and seeming too safe
and friendly. Seduction is a delicate bubble that can be burst
with increasingly less effort as it ripens. A first date is NOT
the place to remain in the role of your everyday average old
sort of guy... that's spells B-O-R-I-N-G. A spark must be
present to ignite the *fires of desire* in the old primal
portion of her brain.
So that means you have to be EXCITED to be out with her! When
you think about it, it should be easy to get juiced up... dating
someone for the very first time is not something that happens
every day in anyone's life. Face it, ordinary life sucks.
Romance is a fantasy voyage, an escape from the 9 to 5 daily
drudgery of work, etc. Treat this rare event for what it is...
something unique, unrepeatable and potentially unforgettable.
Even if she seems too cool to care, trust me... her romance
motor is humming along in high gear.
5 ) Five Minutes Of Nerves Is Normal, Then Calm Down
After some initial awkwardness due to understandable jitters,
you should be able to calm down and hit your stride. If you have
a real problem controlling automatic body reactions to
nervousness (bad sweating, stuttering, facial twitching, etc.)
my best advice is to get a book on yoga and practice it WITH AN
OPEN MIND. You don't have to go nuts and join the Green Party or
anything, but DO try some of the deep breathing and relaxation
techniques. They really work and can give you the self-control
edge you might need. This will project through in your attitude
as a cool confidence that is the unmistakable sign of a High
Status Male!
Learn to always keep your movements around the women you're
trying to seduce graceful and deliberate like a snake charmer.
Modulate your voice in a throaty style (lowered volume) and keep
the tone of your words sounding a little bit "conspiratorial"
(without going overboard and making a fool of yourself). A
squeaky voice spells fear and sounds adolescent, so strive to
keep it in check. Be self-aware.
6 ) Obsession Is The Hallmark Of The Weak Male
Dominant males will show an interest in any attractive woman
they encounter because they are highly sexually driven. But --
because they have many options with females open to them -- they
do NOT act obsessive about any *particular* woman. So don't be
obsessed with her... just be interested. Proclaiming
ridiculously inappropriate nonsense like "...I love you" or
"You're the girl I've been searching for my whole life..." on a
first or second date is the frightening talk of the potential
stalker. You become RADIOACTIVE to women once word of your
engaging in this kind of bizarre behavior spreads. And it will
spread... women gossip like demons. So chill the subservient
groveling and act like you've been down the dating & mating road
a few times already.
7 ) No Matter What Happens, Assume She Likes You... and Believe
It
I'm not kidding here... this is an essential Jedi mind trick
that you MUST somehow learn to play on yourself. Simply ASSUME
that any woman you're working will *always* like you -- and do
whatever the hell it takes to sell this idea to your unconscious
mind! Women can become mesmerized by men who seem to be
captivated by them. But this kind of 'vibe' can only shine
through your body language if it's GENUINE -- and for that to
happen, you have to believe that she will respond favorably to
you... *no matter what*.
Remember... ATTITUDE + UNCONSCIOUS BELIEFS = THE TRUTH. Your
attitude is a naked expression of your unconscious beliefs about
yourself. Therefore, it is interpreted BY OTHERS as revealing
the absolute truth about you... whether YOU like it or not.
Control the self-image that you project to the world by pushing
the crappy beliefs about yourself out of your brain, and replace
them with empowering ones that will advance your own personal
'cause' for a change. Strive to deliberately manipulate this
critical part of your consciousness, and watch your world change
before your eyes like magic.
Before long, you'll soon have your pick of all the best looking
women in YOUR world!
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